Posts tagged #Sandton

Links for All Posts for Our Second South Africa Adoption Trip

Just like the first go-round (though not daily this time), here are all of the days, linked up for your convenience. Thanks again for reading this portion of our story!

Post 1: 3/14/22
This is not a drill!

Post 2: 3/31/22
We’re here and tired, but oh so excited!

Post 3: 4/1/22
Another day, another pothole

Post 4: 4/2/22
Tomorrow changes everything. Again.

Post 5: 4/3/22
Meeting our daughter and sister

Post 6: 4/4/22
Krispy Kreme and some snails…YUM!

Post 7: 4/5/22
Tic-Tac-Toe and Hugs All Around

Post 8: 4/6/22
We’ve Gone to the Birds!

Post 9: 4/7/22
Introducing Phindile (Phindi) Ann Malcolm

Post 10: 4/10/22
The Past Few Days

Post 11: 4/16/22
Some Lions and a Giraffe Named Zöe

Post 12: 4/20/22
Load Shedding is My Nemesis.

Post 13: 4/27/22
A Week in the Life of the Malcolms in Somerset West

Post 14: 5/10/22
Mother’s Day

Post 15: 5/23/22
Nana’s Visit

Post 16: 6/12/22
What We’ve Been Up To

Post 17: 6/18/22
When Worlds Collide in South Africa

Post 18: 6/29/22
The Final Step Before Home

Post 19: Coming soon!

You can find a similar post with links to all of our posts from our 2016 trip to South Africa here.

Posted on February 18, 2023 by Heidi and filed under adoption, In-Country Time, South Africa and tagged travel Chicago Sandton Cape Town Simon's Town Johannesburg Pretoria Stellenbosch Somerset West.

The Final Step Before Home

The Malcolms at Cape Town International Airport

On Monday morning, we flew from Cape Town to Johannesburg. It was hard to say goodbye as we had spent two months there. The Helderberg Basin with its mountains surrounding us and the False Bay—not to mention the countless shops, restaurants, and our church family there always in view felt like a home away from home.

We had a great flight from Cape Town to Johannesburg and were able to get to our new accommodations easily. We are actually in the same building as The Codfather, a favorite restaurant of ours two months ago when we were here.

After settling in, we got ready for a busy Tuesday. On Tuesday, we met up with a family adopting one of Phindi’s best friends (and former bunkmate) from her care home. We had breakfast with them and had them over to our flat so the girls could spend some more time playing. After hanging out with them for most of the morning and some of the afternoon, we got ready to meet Mama Debbie and her husband for dinner at Nelson Mandela Square.

Tisetso being silly in Nelson Mandela Square in 2016.

Phindi at Nelson Mandela Square in 2022.

We had such a wonderful time with them at dinner. We are so thankful they wanted to spend extra time with Phindi and with the rest of us. It is so special to have these moments, especially as our time is winding down here.

The biggest news is that on Wednesday, we had our visa appointment at the US Consulate. It was quite the adventure, as it was when we went with Tisetso, although much less time was spent this time.

We arrived half an hour early only to find our names weren’t on the list. Thankfully, our lawyer had emailed us the confirmation email and that seemed to suffice in getting us through the door. At security, despite Brian checking the list of prohibited items, we were stopped because of the MANY cables, thumb drives, and batteries that seemed to spring out of every pocket in Brian’s backpack (which has a lot of pockets).

After turning off and turning in our phones and electronic paraphernalia, we were allowed to go through. As with last time, it felt surreal to be on “American soil” in South Africa. We were almost put into a long line, but thankfully we were redirected at the last minute to a different window where we were seen only ten minutes later. One form and many dollars later, we raised our right hands and swore we were giving the correct information. We were told to come back on Friday after 11:00 am to collect the passport with the visa attached.

Evening view from another angle in our flat.

So as of Tuesday, June 28th, we will be flying home. We officially purchased our tickets today. It feels crazy that our time here is rapidly coming to an end. I am so thankful that this time around, homesickness has been kept at bay. Do I miss home? Sure! But it’s not an overwhelming, powerful, all-consuming feeling like it felt at times last time we were here.

We would just ask that you pray over our family as we have some good-byes to say in the next few days that are going to be hard. Phindi is especially anxious and resistant to going to America. We can’t blame her—it’s a whole new world and culture that she doesn’t know yet! We hope and pray she will come to love her new home and the people she will meet there, but for now, it’s a big scary unknown.

Thank you for keeping our family in your thoughts and prayers. We couldn’t have made this trip without your support.

EDIT: Sorry this post wasn’t put up sooner! I thought it had been posted! Gah!

Posted on June 29, 2022 by Heidi and filed under adoption, Family, getting ready, In-Country Time, South Africa and tagged Cape Town Johannesburg Sandton Consulate.

Some Lions and a Giraffe Named Zöe

Our last few days have been full, if Phindi’s yawns and sleeping in are anything to go by! Tisetso has helped at the Haven (where he grew up), we went to the outlet mall, we went to the Lion & Safari Park, and the Mall of Africa. We also had a day where we did absolutely nothing but school and eating out, but that was the day before everything crazy started. It’s been a whirlwind! We wanted to get these things done before Friday because Friday was a school holiday for Good Friday, and Monday is a national holiday - Family Day! (Also, Phindi’s birthday, how special!)

Tisetso had a great time at the Haven, again. He loves helping there and being with the kids. It gives him time to connect with his roots and with kids who were in a situation just like he was. When he was done hanging out there, we headed to the outlet mall so he could check out the Nike outlet. We stopped at a store called Makro for lunch and ate at Wimpy (a burger place). While sitting there, we noticed the Walmart logo in a few places. Brian did some digging and found that Walmart had bought a controlling share in Makro and a few other associated brands.

Tisetso and his fancy hot chocolate while out with Brian at a coffee shop.

After we had finished lunch, we were walking to the exit and I noticed a few simple long-sleeve shirts that I wanted to buy. We grabbed a roll of mints and some lozenges to complete our order. We got to the check out only to be told that you needed a Makro membership card (a la Sam’s Club) to shop. Oops! After handing over our big / not so big purchase, we left empty handed. The Nike store was a bust, too.

Aslan greeted us at the entrance. Much more elaborate than the last time we went!

The next day, we got up bright and early to head to the Lion and Safari park. We had gone here before, but we figured it would still but a fun excursion for our family. It was a beautiful drive to the park and we loved seeing the countryside outside of Johannesburg. The safari ride was fun! We got to see a bunch of lions, some zebra (rhymes with “Deborah” here), giraffes, and sable antelopes—which we were told were a rare treat! One of the giraffes we saw was named Zöe and was hand-raised, so it often comes up to the safari trucks and says hi! (See above.)

Me and a giraffe (one of my favorite animals!)

After, we went to lunch at the restaurant on campus and were really disappointed. The food came out one person at a time, and about 40 minutes after we placed our order, the chef came out and told Brian and I that the chicken (what we had ordered) wasn’t cooked yet. We had to order something else. It was very frustrating, right until a giraffe just walked right on by. Way to redeem the whole thing, giraffe!

The Mall of Africa, the largest mall on the continent!

With the giraffe pet, we made our way to the Mall of Africa. Yes, another mall! We had to check it out because they were building it the last time we were here. It felt like the mall that’s closest to us (Sandton City), just moderately bigger and maybe a little nicer. Not worth another trip, to be sure. I was glad for all of the jobs it generates. That has to be a huge number!

Today was a pretty low-key day. We went and saw the new movie The Bad Guys. It was really fun and the animation was wall done. I enjoyed it and recommend the movie to anyone looking for a feel-good movie. Get this—we bought four tickets, four popcorns, four drinks, and three candies all for about $40! Major score on our part! The theater we were in was the ‘kids theater,’ complete with bean bag chairs (with cup holders) and a huge slide into a foam pit!

Us during load shedding when our power was out.

We’ve had a crazy few days, as I said, and then next few will be just as crazy. Tomorrow is Easter, Monday is Phindi’s 10th birthday, and Tuesday sees us flying to Cape Town and moving to a new flat for a month. Please keep us in your prayers. We have seen some evidences of the ‘honeymoon phase’ coming to an end, but then things snap back. We know it won’t last forever and that real work begins when we’re all open and ready. Pray when that time comes, we’re loving and ready to build lasting attachment bonds.

The kids next to a Mandela statue at Carnivore—an all-you-can-eat game meat restaurant.

A quick note: Carnivore was a delicious place filled with meats from all over South Africa! I’m adding the menu so you can see what sorts of things we tried. It’s a must for anyone who visits this area. We visited last time we came.

Posted on April 16, 2022 by Heidi and filed under adoption, In-Country Time, South Africa, attachment / bonding and tagged lion park Johannesburg Sandton mall.

Introducing: Phindile (Phindi) Ann Malcolm

We are so excited to introduce to everyone, Phindile Ann Malcolm, also known as Phindi (PIN-dee). She is shy, but don’t let that fool you! Once she opens up, this girl is silly and sweet and everything in between. She is so loved by us and has been loved and cared for by so many who knew her before us.

We work up early this morning and shared a ride with Mama Debbie, the woman who runs the care home Phindi is from, because the leader of a political party, Julius Malema, was going to be at the same court house as us today and they were expecting protests. We were driven there and encountered roads blocked and a 15 minute drive turned into a 30 minute drive. Then, our 9:00 am court date was delayed. At first it was only for a few minutes. Malema and his legal team even walked past us! Then we found out the magistrate’s (judge’s) brother had passed away moments before, which carried a lot of unknowns for our family—potentially even a hindering thing to our case. One hour led to two which led to three. Finally, after close to four hours of sitting and waiting, our magistrate was ready to see us.

We entered her office and she greeted us with a smile. Brian and I sat in front of her desk while Phindi and Mama Debbie sat behind us and Tisetso sat on a bench to our left with some government social workers. Our lawyer handed us papers from the right while the judge asked us if we had been compelled in any way to the adoption. We swore we had not been. Then we held Phindi’s hands as we swore that we entered into the adoption promising to give Phindi all she needed, which included to teach her right from wrong, to share her birth culture with her, and to love her unconditionally. We signed quickly on the dotted lines! When the magistrate began stamping each page and signing, I began tearing up. It was official. We were now her parents. Four years of stress and tears and paperwork had culminated in this moment in a magistrate’s office.

When we were done, we snapped a quick photo with the magistrate, then hustled out. We took a few more photos on the steps of the courthouse, but were quick with that as well. Many members of the political party of the leader being tried today were there and causing quite the ruckus. They were all dressed in red, so it was a sea of red over the parking lot. Mama Debbie led us around the protesters and through the parking lot and about a block away to wait for Uncle Joe (who works at the care home) to come and pick us up.

Brother and Sister watching Encanto together.

Our plan when we got back to the flat was to get a celebratory milkshake, but because it was pushing 2:00 pm, we decided on lunch and milkshakes. We headed to…the mall. You guessed it! Phindi wanted pizza and chips (fries). She was adamant about her fries being from McDonald’s, which surprised me. Tisetso got McDonald’s, while Brian, Phindi, and I got a pizza.

After lunch, we went to a little pop up where Tisetso got to paint a chocolate egg with edible paint and Phindi got to decorate a chocolate bar. It was fun seeing her say yes and no to certain things. She seems to be fairly decisive, which is unusual for kids who are not used to having as much say in daily life. When we had our fill of Easter activities, we amused Tisetso with an excursion into a shoe store (which resulted in no purchases). This kid is ridiculous about tennis shoes to a fault. It’s out of control.

Phindi loves imitating people and here she’s imitating her brother.

We then headed on the eternal quest to find a small clock for Tisetso’s room. We’ve walked all over this stinking mall looking for a clock and there was one in Woolworths the whole time! We should have checked there first. After a quick stop at Clicks for some hair conditioner spray and lotion, we headed home.

I stepped into the driver’s seat this time. It was my first time driving this trip. I am happy to report two things:
1. We hit nothing / no one. 2. I only hit the windshield wiper once. (Remember it’s on the left side where the turning signal is usually at and the turning signal is on the right.) I made Brian nervous, but was not nervous myself, so I consider that a victory!

When we got home, we called our family to announce Phindi’s name. “Ann” is a family name - both grandmothers and both aunts share the name. We also learned that the woman who runs the care home shares this middle name as well! Phindi enjoyed meeting everyone, sharing her new name, and showing off her court dress.

After the calls, we got her into her jammies and she picked Trolls for the movie night. It was precious because she would sing along to some of the songs. My heart couldn’t handle the cuteness. When we went to put her bed, our water was out again (eye roll), so Brian pilfered some buckets of water from the pool downstairs so we could flush toilets and and we used our drinking water for brushing teeth. Thankfully we didn’t mix the two up! :)

She and Tisetso are now asleep in their beds. I can’t believe this is our life now. Some day this will seem totally normal, but for now, this is special and new.

Posted on April 7, 2022 by Heidi and filed under adoption, family anniversary, In-Country Time, South Africa, transitions and tagged court date Johannesburg Sandton mall.

We've Gone to the Birds!

Our day started early here as we decided to head to Montecasino (an elaborate—bordering on ridiculous—entertainment resort complex) with our daughter. We had been to the bird park there twice on our last visit and it seemed a perfect day to go. Despite being in the mid-70s, we saw many people dressed in long sleeves and even heavy jackets! Sort of like when it hits 65° in southwest Florida.

Upon entering the park, we fed the ducks, which our son and daughter particularly liked. We walked all around in the sunshine and saw monkeys not longer than 1’, lemurs, birds from all around the world and snakes. Brian loved the snakes! Ha! (Where are their arms and legs?!)

Kookaburra landing on the trainer’s hat as planned.

We attended a bird demonstration in which a Kookaburra landed on an audience member’s head, unplanned (after landing on the hat of a trainer which was planned). That was exciting. I decided that the Kookaburra is probably the cutest bird ever and may be my new favorite bird. We watched a crow named “Russell Crow” pick up aluminum cans and put them in the recycling bin. Apparently he took to the trick quickly “because he likes shiny things.”

After the show, we decided to get dessert first, before lunch. We each picked out a snack and ate next to the park by the flamingos. After the sugar was consumed, we played a little tag at the park. Well, I half-heartedly ran because I didn’t want to get overly sweaty. Call me mother of the year! Then we walked around the inside of the complex and found a place for lunch. It’s a huge place and has shops and restaurants. I wanted to eat at the place that puts your pasta in a round of cheese and then lets it melt the cheese, but NO! they didn’t have hot dogs for the kids. Kids ruin everything. I’m just kidding…only sort of. :)

During lunch, we began preparing our daughter that tomorrow she will begin sleeping at our flat after court. We are calling it “her sleep-over” and asked her what she wanted to do and she said watch a movie. We said you can’t have a movie without sweets and popcorn! We found a shop with just that and let her and Tisetso walk around and pick out their favorites and drinks.

When we returned to our daughter’s care home, they were having a party. It was a birthday party for one of the house mamas and a good-bye party for our daughter. At one point, the woman who runs the care home had the children say why they would miss her. Here are a few highlights from those given:

They will miss her love and her kindness.
They will miss her jokes and her silliness.
They will miss that she draws, swims, and plays dolls with others.
They will miss her because she is her best friend.

At this point, I was trying not to cry as 20 children told our daughter why they would miss her. After the party, we had a meeting with our lawyer and social worker from Cape Town who had flown in for court tomorrow. They came to our flat and we sat outside by the VERY green (closed for the season) pool. When we arrived at the flat, we found out that we had no running water, which was fun. Anyway, the meeting went well and we felt reassured and ready for court.

We took our daughter back to the care home for dinner and we felt a brevity in saying good-bye to her for the last time. We were excited that tomorrow we wouldn’t have to say good-bye anymore.

Because we had no running water, we went to the mall to use the loo (fun word for bathroom), pick up some needed items, and get dinner. After dinner, we headed back to the flat in the dark, something we do try to avoid. Thankfully we didn’t run into any issues and came back to running water. Yay!

I have been trying to get a picture of this sign for days! What does it even mean?!

If you think about it, please pray for us tomorrow. We will be in court at 9:00 am, which is 2:00 am Central Daylight Time. Apparently there may be a protest about a political leader who attacked a police officer at a funeral at this court building. It won’t make things easier, that’s for sure. Either way, we just pray that the adoption is finalized and everything is clear for the lawyer and magistrate (judge). Thank you for walking with us on this journey. We can’t wait to introduce you to our daughter!

Posted on April 6, 2022 by Heidi and filed under adoption, In-Country Time, South Africa and tagged before court Monte Casino Johannesburg Sandton mall.

Tic-Tac-Toe and Hugs All Around

Breakfast, Tea, & Coffee at Manaka Coffee

This morning started early as we wanted to get to Manaka Coffee to try it out before going to meet up with our daughter. It was a great coffee shop with a lovely tea selection. (Ha!) Brian also had coffee. We had a great breakfast of flap jacks, eggs Benedict, and steel-cut oats. After a few “friendly waves” (what we call it when Brian accidentally hits the windshield wipers instead of the turn signal—which is on the opposite side of the steering wheel), we made it to the care home.

Our first stop of the day was to the flat to show our daughter her dress for adooption finalization at court (which is happening Thursday morning for all of you who like to pray for us). We showed it to her and she loved it. She said she felt like a princess. I’ve had that dress since we were matched with her—over two years ago!

After she approved the dress, we needed shoes, so we headed to Woolworths. I let her pick out shoes and she picked out tennis shoes. I suggested we get those and pick out some dress shoes for court. Then I took her over to the girls clothes and let her walk around and pick out anything that she liked. She picked out a pink sweatpants and zipper sweatshirt combo because pink is her favorite color. She seemed overwhelmed, so I suggested a few more things that she approved.

We then met Tisetso and Brian at a place for lunch. It’s the same restaurant where we had our sixth anniversary dinner back in 2016! It was delicious and our daughter was able to get her favorite meal—macaroni and cheese. Tisetso showed off his new purchase: a pair of low-top dark green tennis shoes, which he is adding to his “collection”. While we waited for our lunch, I taught our daughter how to play tic-tac-toe. It was so much fun playing with her and seeing her confidence rise with each game. She even beat me fairly a couple of times! Once we had finished lunch, we picked out cake for one of the house mamas whose birthday is tomorrow. We hope she likes rainbow velvet (our daughter’s choice).

The garden where our daughter has undoubtedly spent many hours.

We headed to our daughter’s previous care home facility in the organization (she had just been moved to a new home six weeks ago). Today was hard, as it was a lot of good-byes to house mamas and many of the friends and peers that she loves. One of the teachers at the preschool started to tear up and said, “We are so happy, but it’s so hard.” There were a few moments like that, but most everyone said good-bye with joy for our daughter and were happy to meet us.

After we had said many good-byes, our daughter indicated she was ready to return to her (current) home. When we got there, we assembled the older kids and introduced them to three American candies—Dots, Pez, and Pop Rocks. The kids all agreed the grape Pez tasted like medicine and they all loved (and were sufficiently weirded out by) the Pop Rocks. After the sugar had been consumed, we headed upstairs to play some games and decorate some cards for the house mama’s birthday tomorrow. The girls especially loved the idea of having cards to give to her. We then said good-bye to our daughter for the night and promised to be back the next morning.

We had to head back to the mall for some supplies and additional groceries. We made a mistake and went to the grocery store hungry. We ended up coming home with a lot of carbs (insert eye roll here for knowing better). We left the carbs at home and went to The Codfather across the street for dinner. Tisetso still would not try a Cape gooseberry. Maybe next time.

One huge thing we all received today was a hug from our daughter / sister. When we went to say good-bye, we offered to give her a high five (a common thing we offer to kids in case they are uncomfortable with physical affection), and she said no, then hugged us all in turn. It was really beautiful and unexpected. We hope and pray for more victories and milestones like that in the coming days as we show up and do what we promised to do.

Posted on April 5, 2022 by Heidi and filed under adoption, In-Country Time, South Africa and tagged before court Johannesburg Sandton mall.

Krispy Kreme and some snails...YUM!

A really neat typographical use of the South African flag (“Y”) and colorway

Today started off with Tisetso and I turning up our noses to plain yogurt at a restaurant. We are so used to flavored yogurt that it was startling to taste plain anything. Brian isn’t overly fond of yogurt in any form. After an amended breakfast, we headed to go see our daughter for the day.

Seeing as it was the second rainy day in a row, which apparently is unheard of, the woman who runs the organization suggested we take our daughter and a friend to the mall for the day and catch a movie. This was a surprise to us as we had planned to spend most of the day with her at the home and then take her on a small outing in the afternoon. Everyone belted in, we backed our little Quest Love out and headed for Sandton City (the nicest mall you ever did see).

Once at the mall, we headed to the cinema to see what and when movies were playing. Unfortunately for us, the girls wanted to see Encanto, which stated at 1:15, and it was 9:30. If you know Brian or I, you know that staying at the mall for that long is not a dream come true. So, we made other plans. We headed to the food court and got some Krispy Kreme donuts (the girls’ choice), a Cinnabon cinnamon roll, more coffee for Brian, and sodas. After sugar was consumed, our daughter’s friend pulled me aside and asked if she could get our daughter something to remember her and the other girls by. I was so touched that our daughter is so loved by these girls and will be so missed.

We went to the toy store next and the friend and I went on a secret mission. Brian, Tisetso, and our daughter walked around while the friend and I tried to sneakily purchase a baby doll and some accessories. I think we were successful. We had the doll double-bagged before our daughter could see what was up. Bag in hand, we went to Click’s (like Walgreens) and the girls got to pick out two snacks each.

After that we headed back to our flat. We showed our daughter around and her room when she would be staying with us, which hopefully will be in just a few short days! Tour over, we busted out the snacks and put Encanto on the TV. It’s such a good movie and we had a good time watching it. When we were done, we went BACK TO THE MALL (ugh) for lunch because everything is in the mall.

When we were done with lunch and everyone was sufficiently re-sugared up from milkshakes and bottomless lemonades, we headed back to the home. We played games and introduced a new game called Tenzi to the girls (we started by usiung only five dice, while the game calls for ten). They seemed to love it and enjoyed playing with us. We played a few more games and gave our daughter a couple of American candies to try. Then the girls wanted to head outside with all of the other kids. Brian and I went outside with them and were inundated with children!

We were immediately separated and were asked a million questions. “Are you married?” (Yes. Who do you think to?) “Why do your hands look like this?” (They’re dry. Thanks, kid. Ha!) “Are you ****’s mom?” (Yes! I am!) “Is **** your mom?” (Now how would that work?!) “Are you Father Christmas?” (That one, thankfully, was directed at Brian.) “Have you ever been to the North Pole?” (No, that sounds too cold for me.) “Let me touch your beard!” (Also directed at Brian.) “Let me touch your beard!” (I don’t have a beard!) You get the picture. It was pretty funny and overwhelming. During this interrogation, we were directed to the garden snails that live in the palm fronds. At one point, they grabbed three and had a race. It was pretty fun.

After saying goodbye to our daughter for the night, we headed home. I took a nap as it’s emotionally and mentally draining for me to be “on” all day. At this point in the process, when you’re looking to build connections wherever you can, you are on. One beautiful moment of today was when our daughter grabbed my hand and held on. She started out by holding my arm then slid her hand down to my wrist. I held my hand out and she took it. It was such a small, but huge thing. She is getting more comfortable with us little by little. We are so, so thankful for every victory and look forward to the next one.

Posted on April 4, 2022 by Heidi and filed under adoption, In-Country Time, South Africa and tagged Sandton Johannesburg mall movie before court.

Meeting our Daughter and Sister

Today was the day. We met our daughter and Tisetso met his sister. It was a lot less fanfare than when we met Tisetso, which was okay by us. We pulled up to the house and there she was—standing at the door waiting for us. It was a bit rainy so we ran inside and she had her brightest, shyest smile on. We got high fives as a greeting and then we were off getting the tour with her as our tour guide.

One of her friends drew us a family portrait *(L–R: Heidi, Brian, Tisetso, and our daughter)*

We got to spend almost the whole day with her and her friends. The morning was spent coloring and using stickers to make lovely pictures. One of the girls even drew our family (see above). It was fun as we spent the time asking random questions such as favorite color, food, snack, subject, etc. It gave our shy daughter a chance to speak without having to be at the center of attention, which would have possibly made her uncomfortable. At one point, she put a sticker of a present on her paper and when I asked what was inside, she said, “Clothes and a dollie.” My heart melted.

After drawing and lunch, we headed upstairs for the TV room / lounge area. The girls all wanted to watch The Adventures of Shark Boy and Lava Girl which was a real…treat… It was rough. Brian and I were left to sit on bean bag chairs and the movie was so bad. (How bad was it?) I contemplated taking a nap, but worried I’d snore and alert all the girls to the fact I wasn’t paying attention. I also stayed off my phone as much as possible. It was difficult.

After 93 long minutes, the movie ended, and so did my trial. (Ha!) We headed back downstairs to begin the most difficult game of memory match of my life. The game was based off of a show called Sparkle & Shine, I think, and all of the characters look the same except for different hair colors. But sometimes the same hair color girl would have a slight variation of pose. To add to the fun, the lines of the game kept getting mixed up into a big random pile, so I couldn’t ever remember where something was. To top it all off, we were playing with a bunch of cheaters—our daughter included! When the game had taken too long for their liking, the girls flipped all of the cards over and began a free-for-all to get matches. It was hilarious!

We ended the day by watching an episode of Teen Titans Go! during which, our daughter came out of her shell and started really showing herself to be a funny and silly kid who loves her friends. When we said goodbye, we promised to come back tomorrow and she said that would be alright. Success!

Headed back to the flat after a long but fantastic day

We’re now home and processing our day. It was so different from our first day with Tisetso, and yet similar in many ways. You’re strangers who are also family. You’re expected to hit it off and be great right away. Thankfully, we were able to make good connections with her today. Tomorrow will be different as all her friends go back to school (they’ve been on a week-long autumn break here), so we will have her to ourselves. We are excited and nervous to see how it will go.

Please continue to pray that new and lasting bonds would form between her and us. We love her so much and want her to love us just as much, but know these things take time. We are excited to see what tomorrow brings.

Posted on April 3, 2022 by Heidi and filed under adoption, In-Country Time, South Africa, transitions and tagged Sandton Firsts Johannesburg before court.

Tomorrow changes everything. Again.

We cannot believe that our lives will forever be changed tomorrow at 11:00 am (4:00 am CST). It’s the night before we meet our daughter. We are excited, nervous, scared, happy, pretty much everything under the sun.

Everything changes tomorrow and yet today was a relatively normal day, as far as spending time in Johannesburg / Centurion, South Africa is concerned. We got to meet up with Tisetso’s Grade R (Kindergarten) teacher, Emmylou (“Teacher Emmy”). She had a profound impact on Tisetso’s life in the short time that she was a part of it. She believed in his ability to push beyond goals that others said he would never achieve. We are forever thankful for her.

Getting to meet her, her husband, and daughter was such a treat! They met us at Bosvelder—a seemingly traditional Afrikaners lodge-style restaurant that they suggested, and It was amazing! Her husband ordered six starters (appetizers) for us and we tried new things and they were all so tasty. It was hard to pick my favorite, but I’d have to say it was tripe & totters, a seasoned stew with mashed potatoes on the side. Brian liked the tripe & totters and the lamb’s tail best. For dessert, Brian and I split peppermint crisp tart and malva pudding with custard. Needless to say, four hours later, we walked away full and were thankful for this time with these two friends from afar.

So here we sit, Tisetso in bed, getting ready to end the day ourselves. We have a bag packed by the door with stickers, paper, markers, and other fun activities to play with our children (!!). Just like Tisetso got Roy the Lion, our daughter is getting a special stuffie. “Shelly the Turtle” has made the voyage across the ocean with us and will be introduced to her new best friend tomorrow.

Please be in prayer for us. We are so excited, and hope she is too, but know there have to be a lot of nerves on both sides. We want tomorrow to go well for us, Tisetso, and our daughter.

Here we go!

Posted on April 2, 2022 by Heidi and filed under adoption, getting ready, In-Country Time, South Africa and tagged Centurion Johannesburg Sandton food Firsts milestones.

Another day, another pothole

View of Sandton in the distance and Johannesburg even further in the distance

Today was a long, emotional day. We woke up early and hit the road, headed to Centurion to visit the Haven, where Tisetso lived before we met him. For the sake of his privacy and it being his story to share, we won’t include much, but there were a couple things that we would love to share.

For many years, we’ve heard about this tuck shop and how Tisetso would be allowed to go buy sweets (according to the aunties this happened every Friday). We were finally able to come to the shop and, with the help of one of the aunties, bought thirty candy bars for the kids currently living there. Tisetso delivered these to the kids and was very popular with everyone (as if he wasn’t already).

Another bonus for today was that we got more photos and documents and art from Tisetso’s younger years. It was such a sweet blessing to see his little hand and foot prints and compare them to how big they are today. He has certainly grown! We loved getting to hear stories from the aunties who cared for him and seeing him remember so many new things he had forgotten.

There were probably 50 taxis all lined up along the side of this road.

Driving around provided much to enjoy. We had a couple of interactions with our favorite taxis (see this post for more information from our last trip). We also encountered a military base that we had to drive through that made Brian and I both very nervous, both for ourselves and our car, ‘QuestLove.’ One speed bump was so high that we briefly bottomed out. Not fun!

We encountered many signs that made near to no sense to us. These intersection signs always leave us scratching our heads.

There are a TON of advertisements as you drive along the road, but what’s interesting is how people advertise. Many people use these trailers, so you see random trailers on the side of the road.

In true Tisetso fashion, he wanted KFC for lunch. I noticed they had a hand washing station in the dining area, which I thought was pretty brilliant. Where else do you get your hands so messy as fried chicken? (Ok, I know ribs are up there, but work with me.) I also love the Colonel Sanders tie on the mirror. Presh.

After lunch and a coffee trip, we headed back to the flat to pick up and get ready to meet with the woman who runs the care home our daughter lives in. We were so thankful to meet with her today as she provided such wonderful insight and shared stories about our daughter. She loves crafts and is caring to others, cannot wait to see the ocean, and loves the color pink. 💗

We cannot begin to express how wonderful it was to meet with this woman who has spent such time loving her as she has done. Now we wait for Sunday!

Brian, his dinner, and my arm (Photo cred: Tisetso)

After our meeting, we walked across the street to a restaurant called The Codfather. It was delicious. I got Cape kingklip (a fish local to the Western Cape area), Tisetso got “sticky bbq pork ribs” (big surprise there), and Brian got the paella for two (and brought one serving home).

Tisetso also got a fruit salad, which was beautiful! In it were these little yellow berries. I was the brave one that tried them first. They tasted like a mix between a somewhat sour berry and had the aftertaste of a tomato. It wasn’t my cup of tea, but Brian tried one as well. We asked our server what they were and she asked the chef. She came back with the answer—gooseberries! I did a little googling and found out that, more specifically, they are Cape gooseberries. Fun!

We are now back safely and wondering (again) when we can go to bed. Brian and Tisetso didn’t sleep well again last night. Hopefully they will sleep just as well as I’ve slept the past two nights.

Posted on April 1, 2022 by Heidi and filed under adoption, In-Country Time, South Africa and tagged Centurion Sandton Haven.

Links for All of the Days We Were in South Africa

If for some crazy reason you find yourself wanting to read all of the days in order (bless you), here are all of the days, linked up for your convenience. Thanks for reading our story!

Day 1: Pretoria

Day 2: Pretoria

Day 3: Pretoria

Day 4: Pretoria

Day 5: Pretoria

Day 6: Pretoria

Day 7: Pretoria

Day 8: Pretoria

Day 9: Centurion

Day 10: Centurion

Day 11: Centurion

Day 12: Centurion

Day 13: Centurion

Day 14: Centurion

Day 15: Centurion

Day 16: Centurion and Atteridgeville

Day 17: Centurion

Day 18: Centurion and Strand

Day 19: Strand

Day 20: Strand

Day 21: Strand

Day 22: Strand and Cape Town

Day 23: Strand and Simon's Town

Day 24: Strand

Day 25: Strand

Day 26: Strand

Day 27: Strand

Day 28: Strand and Cape Town

Day 29: Strand and Khayelitsha

Day 30: Strand

Day 31: Strand and Cape Town

Day 32: Strand and Cape Town

Day 33: Strand and Cape Town

Day 34: Strand and Simon's Town

Day 35: Strand and Cape Town

Day 36: Strand and Cape Town

Day 37: Strand

Day 38: Strand and Khayelitsha

Day 39: Strand and Stellenbosch

Day 40: Strand, Cape Town, and Somerset West

Day 41: Strand, Cape Town, Johannesburg, and Sandton

Day 42: Sandton

Day 43: Sandton, Pretoria, and Centurion

Day 44: Sandton

Day 45: Sandton

Day 46: Sandton

Day 47: Sandton and Johannesburg

Day 48: Sandton, Pretoria, and Johannesburg

Day 49: London, Chicago, and Home

You can find a summary of our Time in South Africa here, and a post about our pre-South Africa adventure in London here.

Posted on May 27, 2016 by Heidi and filed under adoption, In-Country Time, South Africa and tagged travel Chicago London Sandton Strand Cape Town Simon's Town Centurion Johannesburg Pretoria Atteridgeville Khayelitsha Stellenbosch Somerset West.

South Africa: Day 48, Sandton, Pretoria, and Johannesburg

Monday, February 22

We all woke up with a sense of heaviness and excitement. Well, to be fair, I woke up with Tisetso pinching my nose, so I technically woke up unable to breathe. But other than that, heaviness and excitement. Our flight wasn’t to leave until 9:20 p.m., so we had one final, full day in South Africa. Today was going to be the hardest day yet—saying goodbye to Mommy Tahiyya.

After my abrupt and suffocating awakening, I set to finishing packing. I wanted to be done early in the day so we didn’t have to worry about it closer to the time of our departure. Tisetso watched Ben 10 while I finished his suitcase. With a quick breakfast, we were off to say goodbye. Brian needed coffee, so we stopped at a place called Vintage Coffee.

With coffee in hand, we headed to the care home one last time. Pulling up felt final. We parked, rang the bell, and waited to be let in one last time. Tisetso was excited to be back. We sat in the living room with Mommy Tahiyya as she gave Tisetso a gift she had made. She also gave us a book she had put together of all of the baby pictures she could find of Tisetso, along with memories she wanted him to remember. We felt like we had been given a gift of gold as it was a treasure we hadn’t known to even hope for. We talked for a little bit. Mommy Tahiyya commented about Tisetso’s accent (which apparently sounded more like ours already) and how long his hair had gotten. After a bit, we all needed to get going with our days, so we said our goodbyes.

I cannot express to you how hard it was to say goodbye to this amazing woman. She had fought hard for Tisetso for seven years and loved him as a son for seven years. She was there for his first steps, she wiped his tears when he was sad, she cheered him on when he had a race. What do you say to a woman like her? She had loved Tisetso longer and fought harder for him than I had! "Thank you" didn’t seem enough. I lost it saying goodbye to her. I wanted to bring her with! Getting in the car and driving away was hard.

We had one more goodbye for the day. We had set up a time to say goodbye to Tisetso’s grade R (kindergarten) teacher. Before we went to the school, we grabbed lunch in Laudium one last time. After lunch, we had enough time to take Brian back to Vintage Coffee to work while Tisetso and I said goodbye to Teacher Emmy. When we got to the school, the kids were just getting let out. There were lots of kids and parents everywhere!

We found Teacher Emmy’s classroom and walked in. Tisetso ran to the dress up corner (his favorite when he was in Kindergarten). Teacher Emmy gave me two discs with all of the pictures she had taken of her class the previous year. I couldn’t believe the blessing I was holding in my hands! More pictures of my son before he became a Malcolm! I thanked her profusely and had Tisetso come over to say goodbye. During her goodbye, she presented him with a couple of farewell cards from his friends and a wallet. Apparently, one of his friends bought him a wallet to match his and wrote a note on the back. It was so sweet.

The goodbye was short as we could tell Tisetso was feeling overwhelmed with the events of the day. At the car, I hugged Teacher Emmy, who had fought fiercely for my son’s trust and taught him the importance of learning. It was almost too much for me. Two hard goodbyes in one day. I was ready for a nap!

We picked Brian up from the coffee shop, driving past familiar homes and fields for the last time, and made our way back to the flat. We had little to pack up as the packing had been happening over the past two days. We went through our food and picked out what needed to be thrown out, what we could leave for the gal who cleaned our flat, and what we were taking with us (mostly candy for the 29 hours of travel ahead of us).

A delicious beverage with a cool can. I really wanted a photo, but apparently kids ruin everything.

We headed down to the car with our luggage, which was no small feat! We had four large suitcases, one carry on suitcase, four backpacks, and one purse (packed full). Along with that, we had a ton of legal documents that we had to keep a close eye on. And a kid. We had to keep a close eye on him too. We stuffed the luggage and the kid and ourselves in the car and headed off to America. The only things between us were a massive traffic jam, thousands of miles, and airport security (basically the equivalent to adding a thousand miles to our trip). The traffic jam was insane, including cars making the shoulder a seventh lane and people walking and biking on the highway. To complete the picture, people were also selling things between the lanes as we weren't moving.

When we got to the airport, we turned in our car (thankfully with no hassles) and headed to the terminal. We navigated our way towards the international flights section of the airport and found our way hampered by a cricket team. You read that correctly: A cricket team. Apparently the Waitrose cricket team had finished spending the winter months in South Africa and were heading home—back to England. We were behind the team chiropractor / masseuse, so I struck up a conversation with him. He said they had been in South Africa for three months and were going back for the spring / summer season in England. They had the luggage to prove it! Each person had at least four to five massive team bags (assumedly also containing their gear). The people checking everything in looked stressed. Apparently their presence had created a huge disruption in the checking in process, which was causing some people to be close to missing their flights. Thankfully, we were there two hours ahead of time, so we weren’t panicked.

After taking forever to get to the front, we were frustrated to find one of our suitcases was about 2 pounds overweight, leaving us with a $100 penalty. Interestingly enough, they had to run our American card, charge Rand, and convert to Pounds (we were flying British Airways). After all of that we went through security. Once again, I’d like to commend the South African airport security for not being annoying and even treating people like human beings rather than cattle. We passed through and headed to our gate. In true travel fashion, our gate was the farthest one away.

After rushing past all of the restaurants, I was praying we’d find something close to our gate for dinner. As it happened, there was a sandwich bar right next to our gate! We each grabbed sandwiches and a sausage roll and a drink (I couldn’t eat mine because of nerves). Our plane was at the gate, but 9:20 came and went. They made an announcement that the plane was too hot and would have to be cooled down before we could board. Apparently, the function that cools the plane while it’s landed had broken, leaving the plane 79° inside.

We were eating our sandwiches when a flight attendant came over to us and asked if we were flying to London. Assuring her we were, she told us we could board early “because of the boy.” This was an unforeseen perk to having a kid. Thanks, Tisetso! We cleared the first checkpoint and entered a waiting lobby. Here, a tourism lady snagged Brian for a super long and complicated survey (of course it wasn’t advertised as such up front). Thankfully for Brian and the lady, we didn’t board until close to 10:30, so they had a little bit to finish up.

When the plane was cooled to someone’s standards (it was still ridiculously warm), we were allowed to board. We crammed our stuff and bodies into the allotted space and waited for take off.

I definitely felt a sense of loss as the plane lifted off the ground. I felt loss for Tisetso who was too young to understand what he was leaving behind. I felt a sense of loss for a culture and country I had grown to love. We knew we wouldn’t be back for several years, so it felt final.

Once in the air, we were told the flight attendants would be walking through the cabin to decontaminate it. It was weird. They basically went through the cabin with Lysol cans, walking up and down the aisle spraying mist. Then flight attendants decided they wanted to serve dinner at 12:30 AM. I was ready to pretend to get some sleep (I don’t sleep on planes), or at least force my kid to sleep, but no. Dinner must be served. With the lights on. People (who chose to eat at that ungodly hour) finished up around 1:30 AM, so lights went out around 2:00 AM. (Insert major eye roll here.)

With that, our last full day (and it was a full day) in South Africa came to a close.

Posted on May 3, 2016 by Heidi and filed under adoption, In-Country Time, South Africa and tagged travel Sandton Pretoria Tisetso.

South Africa: Day 47, Sandton and Johannesburg

Sunday, February 21

We had big plans for today. We had been in South Africa for 46 days and not gone on a safari. We were going to change that today! Right outside of Johannesburg is a place called the Lion Park. We had heard really good things about the park and wanted to see some animals!

We stopped at a McDonald’s on our way out of town. It was a Rock ’n Roll McDonald’s, which was fun. They had these massive leather chairs that you got sucked into, unable to get out of, let alone eat from. After we maneuvered into a slightly convenient position, we ate our breakfast quickly. The park opened at 9:00, but we were aiming to get there around 9:30.

After a rock ’n roll breakfast, we headed out. It was a great drive as it was a direction we had not driven yet. The scenery was, as our experience had proven, beautiful! We loved getting to see Johannesburg in the backdrop as we drove out of the city. Our adventure began at the gate as we entered the lion park.

Getting there early Sunday morning was the ticket! We were one car of maybe 10 in the parking lot and were able to get a spot under a shade tree. When we went up to the ticket counter, we decided to chance it and buy tickets to pet the lion cubs. We had bought tickets for Tisetso to pet the meerkats, but he wasn’t such a big fan. With our tickets in hand, we found our way to the safari van. It was a big truck with a cage top, probably to keep the tourists in more than the animals out, if I had to guess.

Our safari guide hopped into the truck, introduced herself, then crawled up front to start the truck. She had left the door open when she got behind the wheel, but I thought she had a switch up front to shut and lock the door. I was wrong. We started driving and some of her co-workers started shouting that she had left the door wide open! Thankfully, she stopped, shut it, and we got on our way. Safely.

Zebra! (rhymes with "Deborah" over here)

The first enclosure we drove through were the tame animals. We saw antelope, springbok, ostriches, zebra, giraffes, etc. My favorite was watching a springbok leap around and run. We hadn’t gotten to see one in action, so it was great to see South Africa’s national animal playing around. The tame animals were in large part laying around or grazing—not terribly exciting, but still fun to see.

The next enclosures were a little more thrilling as they were the lions, cheetahs, and wild dogs. Our tour guide told us we were there at a good point in the week as the lions are fed at noon on Sunday. All of the lions were still awake, which was unusual. They were typically already asleep. Not only were they awake, they were alert and waiting for the food truck to bring the meat! Fortunately for us, while in the white lion enclosure, the lions decided to investigate our truck to see if we were supplying lunch. Technically, we were a bunch of meat in a truck, but the wrong meat. The lions did circle the truck when we entered. It made for entertainment and good pictures.

The lions and cheetahs were beautiful! It was neat to see the family dynamics to the prides. They had regular lions, white lions, and mixed lions (a family comprised of regular and white). Apparently white lions are rare in the wild, so seeing that many in the park was a treat (not that I was planning to go look for any lions in the wild). Along with the lions and cheetahs, we got to see wild dogs. Of all of the animals, I felt this pack of dogs could make short work of any meat that entered the enclosure. Not to say the lions wouldn’t jump at the chance for lunch, but these dogs seemed so wild. It was a little unnerving to see an animal I would pet in everyday life (based on its appearance) ripping apart flesh and circling the truck to get more.

When we were done with the safari, we got off the truck and headed to the cub petting area. The whole way, I was reassuring Tisetso that the cubs would be very small, very cute, and used to being pet by humans. We got to the area and found the fence around the enclosure covered in cloth material, so I wasn’t able to see what we were actually headed into. I kept reassuring Tisetso that the cubs would be very small (no more than my knees) and that I could hold him, if he wanted, so the cubs couldn’t get him. Boy was I wrong!

Seconds before the lion decided to try and make Brian's face its chew toy.

We were finally admitted into the enclosure and ushered over to a low wall with two giant cubs laying on it. They were about twice as big as I had imagined. The first one was awake and chewing on a stick. I got into position and got a picture. The “cub” kept moving around and was making me nervous. Brian was next and walked up to pet the cub. I took his picture, then the cub turned its head, looked at Brian and lunged and nipped at his face. Needless to say, I had a heart attack and ushered everyone to the sleeping lion.

Tisetso was refusing to pet the lion. I really wanted him to, so I told him he could get a patch for his adventure vest (something we had bought at the pier in Cape Town) if he was adventurous and pet the lion. It happened—with one finger. Tisetso approached slowly, making sure the lion was asleep, then stuck out a finger and touched the lion’s paw and jumped back. Patch earned!

All the while this was happening, there was a woman trying to pet the lion who had just tried to eat Brian’s face. It was not going well. She had to abandon the idea of getting a photo with the cub that was awake. It kept swatting at her with its paws and nipping at her. I was honestly impressed with her determination to keep trying. Apparently she was not as afraid of losing her face as I would have been!

After our adventure petting the lions, we headed into the area with some other animals and an observation area where you could feed a giraffe. Unfortunately for me, the giraffe had had its fill of lettuce for the morning and was napping in the shade. We watched the giraffe for a few minutes and checked out the ostriches who had come over the check us out. One of the ostriches pooped in front of us and it was disgusting. (Why do I bring this up on the blog? Because now, even two months later, Tisetso still brings it up! Usually randomly and in front of people who wonder why he is talking about “that bird who pooped!”)

With that image burned into our minds, we headed to the mall! We were going to start packing up and wanted to grab the last of our souvenirs before heading home. When we got back to the flat, our lunch consisted of eating whatever was left in the fridge or pantry! It made for fun eating.

Our afternoon consisted of packing, Brian and Tisetso playing Ben 10, and resting a bit. We attended the 4:00 pm service at Bryanston Bible Church for our last time. It was surreal to realize we would be back with our friends at Redeemer in one week. When church was done, we headed to Nando’s for dinner.

It took so long to get here, but it was worth it!

Nando’s is a South African restaurant that happens to have a location in Chicago, with a new one opening in Naperville (very close to us)! We had wanted to go to Nando’s while we were in South Africa and, in true form, we made it the last day we were there! It was everything we had hoped for—the place we ended up going to was delicious and the service was impeccable. We loved it and couldn’t wait to have it back in the States.

Next to Nando's? A place called Pizza Chicken Perfect. How can you go wrong?!

We headed back to the flat for our last night in South Africa. We wrapped up the evening with an episode of Jake and the Neverland Pirates and some packing. We were excited and anxious for the next day and the travels ahead.

Posted on April 22, 2016 by Heidi and filed under adoption, In-Country Time, South Africa and tagged travel Tisetso nature Sandton Johannesburg.

South Africa: Day 46, Sandton

Saturday, February 20 (Our 6th anniversary!)

We woke up excited for today! We had fun plans arranged with our friends, the Saarela family. We got ready quickly and headed to one of our favorite restaurants—Tasha’s! We had a delicious meal with our friends. The fancy juice drinks were my favorite. I had an iced tea/juice combo drink which made me feel like I was on a beach in the Bahamas. It was fun to hang with the our friends again, as the last time we had seen them was one week ago in Somerset West.

Tisetso wanted his picture taking with this Mini Cooper.

After a delicious breakfast, we headed to the Montecasino Bird Gardens. We had been there the last time we were in the area (about a month ago) and loved it! We made our way there including a scenic detour of sorts. After finally finding the place again, we parked and walked through the indoor city to the bird gardens.

Tisetso was NOT excited to see his old friend, the friendly goose.

It was quite a hot day, so a lot of the birds were hiding in the shade.

We had such a good time! The girls and Tisetso loved feeding the ducks, I enjoyed feeding some of the birds nectar, and we all enjoyed not going into the enclosure with the screaming lemur that sounded like its fondest ambition was to rip someone’s face off. We saw a lot of birds, (thankfully) didn’t see as many rats, and had a great time on the playground! It was definitely more crowded than when we came, so we had to work on our sharing skills.

Look at these beautiful girls and their smiles! Love them! Tisetso (not smiling) was spinning them around and around, prompting the smiles.

One hilarious time during the visit was watching two birds trying to break into the water feature that was in their enclosure. They would grab a rock, hop on top of the plastic box covering the mechanics, then start beating the top of the box. One was even using its beak to push the nozzle to the "off" position. They were very, very smart birds. And very big.

The last time we were here, these two were fighting each other. This time they were working together to break into the water feature.

Getting to hang out with Lexi, Pete, and the girls was so nice. We knew we wouldn’t see them again for a while and that the next time we hung out, it would be back in the United States! We said our goodbyes and headed back to the flat.

Because of our big, hot morning, we decided it would be good to get some rest. After lunch, we got real naps! It was magical. To add to the afternoon fun, we also played Ben 10, Tisetso played with his Legos, and I wrote.

Playing with his Legos and new Transformer.

We have been taking turns choosing restaurants and, seemingly unfortunately, it was Tisetso’s turn to pick out the place we would celebrate our 6th anniversary. His choice? Pizza. Due to quick thinking on Brian’s part, he offered to research restaurants and find a good place that served pizza. Tisetso chose a place called Walnut Grove, so we got ready and set off.

The restaurant was in the Sandton City mall. We got seated at a good table—right next to the dessert cases. To show solidarity in his choice, Brian and I both ordered pizza, too. I ended up with the best pizza I’ve ever had in my life! It was a really thin crust with shredded cheeses (mozzarella and parmesan), garlic, rosemary, and sea salt. The only downside was that their salt grinder seemed to be on the fritz and I kept finding massive pieces of salt the hard way—chewing into them. After a few times, I got smart and scanned the pizza and picked out big pieces. It was so good. Brian even agreed, which was a big deal. He typically has better luck than I do when ordering delicious food.

With pizzas consumed, we ordered celebratory dessert. I got a piece of Ferrero Rocher cake (bits of the candies in the cake and a full one on top). It was perfect. Too rich for me to finish, but perfect. While we ate, we told Tisetso about our wedding day. It was pretty great to share with him. He seemed to fixate on the fact that my sister started crying while I was walking down the aisle, which caused me to cry. Brian was able to film Tisetso shouting, “You had one job!” to send to Auntie Erin to celebrate the anniversary of crying and leaving my brother-in-law to sing by himself.

I loved having dinner with my two favorite guys. It was a little surreal to be sharing our wedding story with our son. After dreaming of such things for two years, it was such a moment of grace to have that time.

Our evening concluded with watching Robin Hood, reading our Bible story, then heading to bed.

Posted on April 11, 2016 by Heidi and filed under adoption, In-Country Time, South Africa and tagged travel Sandton Tisetso nature.

South Africa: Day 45, Sandton

Friday, February 19

Today was intentionally a low-key day. Brian was able to get away to a coffee shop to take care of some work while Tisetso and I hung back at the flat. Our morning consisted of Tisetso playing with Legos then Tisetso and I playing Ben 10. After getting a cardio workout from Ben 10, I sat down to write while Tisetso played with his Legos again (can you tell it’s his favorite??). After a while, I let him watch a show (Spongebob). It was my meal to choose where we went and I knew I wanted to get to Mandela Square (one of the recommended spots in Sandton). I looked at the website and saw a place called Trump’s as a restaurant option. I prayed it wasn’t a restaurant owned by Donald Trump. Thankfully it wasn’t, so when Brian got home we went.

This gem was in the parking garage. Our car was basically a piece of junk compared to all of the super nice cars we saw!

Before we could get to the restaurant, we got stuck in an elevator. We got in and Tisetso pressed the correct button (up), then we proceeded to go a few floors down, doors opened, then wouldn't shut, then we went back to the floor we came from and the doors wouldn't open. After a few minutes (and panic setting in), the elevator began moving of its own volition and went to the correct floor. We quickly got off and decided we would use the stairs on the way back to our car.

These are the elevators we got stuck on. Note the broken indicators on the top!

As it turns out, I know how to pick good restaurants. The spot was a SUPER nice steak place and it was delicious. I ordered a steak and mushroom truffle butter. It was so good. And so cheap! Total I think we spent about $25 for two good steaks, two sides, a kids meal, dessert, and drinks. We also had a great view of the Square and the massive Nelson Mandela statue.

Tisetso couldn't get over how big the statue was.

When we finished our amazing lunch, we decided to talk around the Square and the mall that was right there (of course there was a mall!). We found a massive toy store called Hamley’s. We had seen one advertised in Cape Town at the pier and knew of it from London, but never managed to find it. We had had such a nice day, Brian and I decided it would be safe to venture into the toy store with Tisetso. It was a lot of fun. The whole store was filled with things to play with and toys galore. We let Tisetso pick out three Disney figurines. He ended up picking Woody, Peter Pan, and Captain Hook. Brian found the Transformers section and told Tisetso all about them and helped him pick one out.

It was a pretty sweet moment. Being in South Africa has not allowed Brian and I many times of nostalgia while introducing our kid to something we loved as kids, so these moments are great. I had my fluffer nutter moment yesterday and Brian had his Transformers moment today.

I bought a smaller version of this guard as a souvenir.

With figurines and Transformer in his cart, we headed to the till to pay. While we were walking up, Tisetso began singing and dancing while pushing the kid sized cart. It was pretty sweet.

With our purchase made, we headed back to the flat. We played during the afternoon and did some school. To spice things up, I had Tisetso make a graph by sorting and counting his Legos. Fun! We rested and got ready for dinner. During dinner, Tisetso asked to send Auntie Ginger videos, which we obliged. He loved that. After dinner, we watched Robin Hood, had popcorn, then called it a night.

Posted on April 5, 2016 by Heidi and filed under adoption, In-Country Time, South Africa and tagged Tisetso travel Sandton.

South Africa: Day 44, Sandton

Thursday, February 18

Today was a pretty low key one. After yesterday being such a heavy day, we wanted to keep today light and fun. To keep that goal in check, we started with school. I let Tisetso decide on more fun words to write, which produced some fun results. About half way through, we really needed a break. I set the timer for 15 minutes and we played Ben 10 during that time. He was sufficiently worn out at the end of the 15 minutes, which means I was barely able to breathe.

We managed to finish school and headed to the mall to buy another(!!!) suitcase. We are each allotted two, so it won’t cost any extra to bring home (thankfully). We found one quickly and decided to get lunch while we were out. It was Brian’s turn to choose and he picked a Chinese inspired place. It seemed like a good fit. They even had something Tisetso was interested in eating (no small feat for a place that’s not KFC or a burger place). All of my interest in the food turned sour when I noticed a smooshed cockroach on one of the steam baskets Brian’s dumplings came in (of course after I had eaten). I was barely able to stomach anything else after that. I kept thinking, “This is what our typhoid shot was for. This is what our typhoid shot was for.” To be honest, I didn’t anticipate utilizing my typhoid shot in a mall in Sandton.

We had an interesting thing on our receipt...see if you find it.

After gagging a little and trying not to hurl, I was ready to go. Brian wanted to grab a coffee on our way out. At the coffee stand, they had containers of marshmallow fluff (exactly where I would think of looking). We had peanut butter at home and I really wanted a fluffer nutter (a sandwich with peanut butter and marshmallow fluff). I really wanted to make one for Tisetso. I impulsively tossed one of the containers on the counter right before Brian paid.

With the fluff and luggage in tow, we headed back to the flat. I painstakingly made a fluffer nutter for Tisetso. Then had to practically shove it down his throat because he didn’t believe me that he would love it. Thankfully, he finally took the plunge and took a bite. Then one more. Then finished the sandwich. Then requested another one. Success!

We laid low for the afternoon. We played Legos together and, when I was invited to not play, I decided to do some writing. Tisetso was curious about my typing a blog post and I realized he’s probably not had much interaction with a computer, so I pulled up a blank document and had him work on typing his name. It took a while, but he did it. I wanted a picture, but he was less than willing.

Our dinner was a take and bake lasagna from Woolworth’s. It looked so good and I had high hopes. Tisetso complained about me dishing his veggies, so I let him dish mine. He kept piling them on (how kind), but I ate them all. Sadly, the veggies were (in my opinion) the best part of the meal. The lasagna was so horrendous, I tossed the whole thing in the trash after we were done. Tisetso needed encouragement to eat his veggies, so he and I had races to eat each bite until he was finished.

We finished our day off by watching Robin Hood and eating popcorn (a snack Tisetso seems to love as much as I do—which is a lot). I could have done with less cockroaches, but it was a good, restful day.

Posted on March 25, 2016 by Heidi and filed under adoption, In-Country Time, South Africa and tagged Tisetso Sandton travel.

South Africa: Day 43, Sandton, Pretoria, and Centurion

Wednesday, February 17

Because Brian had been unable to get much work done yesterday, he needed to be able to get a lot accomplished today. To help with that, I planned to take Tisetso to the mall to give Brian some quiet time. I was also hoping it would be good for Tisetso and I to spend quality time together. The past week has been super hard with him and I. He has been acting out towards me and being unkind, so I wanted to have time with just us.

We headed to the mall and got a killer spot, which was nice. I grabbed a trolley (shopping cart) from a nearby spot and put Tisetso in. He loves riding in ("driving") the trolleys, so it’s bonus points to get one without him asking. Our first stop was to get him a baked treat of his choice from the Doppio Zero bakery. He chose a gingerbread man cookie. He didn’t want to eat the cookie because he wanted to show daddy. I asked if it would work for me to just take a picture and send it to him. It worked and he got to work on the cookie.

Our mall stop included Woolworths to pick up sweeties for the kids at the care home and a stationery store to get letters printed up for the US visa and border control officers. While at the stationery store, we waited quite a while. The employees seemed to be frantically working on a huge project and our four sheet print job fell low on the priority list. Tisetso was feeling antsy and, truth be told, so was I. We had had a good morning up to this point and I certainly didn’t want this to be the thing to turn the tide. Thankfully, after 30 minutes of hang ups, they managed to figure everything out and we were able to leave with our documents in hand.

After walking around the mall and grabbing an Americano for Brian, we headed home. After an easy lunch of sandwiches, Tisetso and I played Batman and Joker. With our kid significantly more tired than before, we sat down to do a quick session of school. Tisetso wasn’t really wanting to write, so I had him pick the words he would write. He decided on: Batman, Hulk Smash, Harry Potter, hero, and, for good measure, I added Tisetso to the list.

With school out of the way for the day, we got ready to head to the care home for Tisetso to say goodbye. We had sweeties in tow and Tisetso had his bow tie on. Pulling up to the Haven felt a little like a dream. We hadn’t been there in a while and so much had happened since our last visit. Tisetso was so excited he practically jumped out of the car before we had fully stopped. He ran up to the door and waited to be let in.

Tisetso was so glad to see his friends. Most of his friends (the older kids) had recently come home from school and were in the process of doing homework and were glad for Tisetso to be their distraction. He sat at the table and at lunch with them and talked to them as they did their work. It was as if he had never been gone. My momma heart loved seeing him surrounded by his family. It was hard, too, because this was what he was leaving behind. These wonderful aunties and sweet children had made up his life for seven years. We would soon be leaving it. I was overwhelmed for Tisetso.

Brian and I, not wishing to be hanging over him as he hung out with his friends, excused ourselves and went to the living room. We talked with some of the aunties and gave them updates about the past month. They all commented on how he had grown and how his accent was beginning to mirror ours. We would occasionally check on Tisetso to see how he was doing. At one point, he was off playing with one of the older girls who had been there for a long time, like he had. It was such a sweet moment, Brian and I both snuck pictures.

After a while, we wondered where Tisetso was. We hadn’t seen him in a while, so I went looking for him. I checked outside, in the TV room downstairs, and in the classroom. Still not finding him, I went upstairs. Tisetso was sitting alone in the TV room watching a show by himself. My heart broke for him in that moment. He was clearly overwhelmed at saying goodbye. He needed to retreat and that’s where I found him.

This is the hard, painful side of adoption. No matter the situation where your child comes from, they are leaving something behind. We are massively blessed that Tisetso came from such a wonderful, loving home, but in that moment, I could tell Tisetso was done saying goodbye to his brothers and sisters. I sat with him a few minutes and then let him know it was time to go, but we needed to take a picture with his brothers and sisters first. He was not excited about the prospect, but I knew he will appreciate the picture later.

Wrangling the kids and Tisetso proved to be fun. Auntie Yolanda was up for the challenge. After getting them all on a couch, chaos ensued. We never actually got a picture with all of the kids looking at the camera, but that perfectly summed up life there. I love the pictures we got. I can’t post it because it shows the faces of children who are not mine, but rest assured, these kids would steal your heart with their smiles.

During the photo, it began to storm in a major way. As we walked out of the Haven, there we got drenched. To add to the rain water coming from the sky, Tisetso decided to walk under a downspout, which was fun for him… I had been texting with Auntie Alma because she was unable to make it to the Haven for our goodbyes. We asked Tisetso if he felt up to one more goodbye. Tisetso was good to go, as he hadn't ever been to Auntie Alma's house.

We headed to Auntie Alma’s house to say goodbye to her. She and her three daughters have known Tisetso for the last five or six years. At their home, the girls occupied Tisetso (seeing pets in the back yard, playing drums and a guitar in the basement, etc.) while Alma shared stories and wisdom she had gleaned from knowing Tisetso for so long. It was great. There’s one story in particular that I look forward to reminding Tisetso of when he’s older.

After enjoying their company for a little while, we made our exit to take Tisetso to his favorite restaurant—KFC. I hoped and prayed it would be the last time we went to that restaurant for a good long time! With our bellies filled with greasy fried chicken, we made our way back to the flat (through more of that wonderful traffic).

Our evening was as low key as we could make it. We got home with only a short while before Tisetso went to bed, which was good for all of us.

Posted on March 25, 2016 by Heidi and filed under adoption, In-Country Time, South Africa and tagged Tisetso travel Sandton Centurion Pretoria.

South Africa: Day 42, Sandton

Tuesday, February 16

Tisetso playing with his reusable stickers. I loved how he had stuck a shirt on the Lego man and put a pink flower hat on his pirate.

Today was a long, good day. We started by going to the mall for breakfast at a place called Doppio Zero. It was a good spot with decent food. The mall (Sandton City) is super nice and offered a lot. We decided to get our groceries at Woolworth’s while we were there. Brian was on a tight schedule and we had to hustle. We found what we needed and headed back to the car. Brian needed cash, so we decided to stop by an ATM. Unfortunately, it ended up being a 15 minute detour. We followed the signs, which took us the long way round. (Of course!)

Back at home, we didn’t have long before we needed to head to the US Embassy. Our appointment for Tisetso’s visa was at 1:00, but we had been advised by Wandisa to arrive by noon and wait in line. We pulled up to the Embassy, but were directed by a guard to park at the mall (Sandton City) across the street and walk.

We pulled out and did a U-turn to get back to the parking garage. In true South African fashion, this was apparently the only place in the country where this was not allowed and, rather inconveniently, there was a police check point right there with cops to witness it. We were pulled over and Brian was instructed to get his paperwork out. I had to grab our international driving permits from my purse, which was inconveniently located in the trunk. Then the cop demanded to see Brian’s passport, which is not legally required to drive. When Brian pointed out that the cop had everything he needed, the cop began getting angry and telling Brian he was "an officer and could ask for anything he wanted" and Brian had to comply because he was a cop. We were all on edge from that point. Brian got his passport out and handed it over to the visibly angry cop. With drivers license, international driving permit, and passport in hand, the cop reviewed it and handed it back to Brian, then just walked away. We sat there for a couple of minutes wondering if that was it. Apparently it was. We quickly pulled away and found a parking spot. While walking to the Embassy, we talked with Tisetso about corrupt cops (“I’m a cop so you had to do what I say!” is a big red flag), which was a fun conversation.

When we arrived to the doors of the Embassy, we were told we were there too early and to leave and come back. I told them we would like to wait and joined the line (only two deep at this point). We were behind two guys. One guy was getting his fiancee visa and was getting married to a woman in Chicago! Small world. We also met another family just behind us in line in which the husband was a pastor and they were interviewing for visas to join her family in California. It was great to talk to them while we waited.

After waiting outside (in the heat), we were told to get in line. We were now first in line as the other two guys had left in frustration (welcome to America!). We were ushered into a room and had to hand over our phones. We didn’t know it, but our phones were supposed to be turned off (there, of course, were no signs or announcements to this effect) and Brian was ushered back outside to turn his phone off. I quickly turned mine off so I wouldn’t have to go back into the heat. With his phone turned off, we handed over everything remotely electronic (including headphones) and walked into the Embassy.

The first portion of our interview was basically handing over paperwork. It was at this point we found out we didn’t have our updated tax information in the dossier paperwork we had been given by Wandisa/Wybrow Oliver. The gal collecting the paperwork seemed skeptical that we didn’t have it and said she would talk to her supervisor, then sent us back to our seats. Brian and I sat in almost complete silence for the next 40 minutes freaking out that we were going to be sent out and would need to get another appointment, re-book our return flight, etc. After waiting for what seemed like forever, we were called up to the window again. This woman interviewing asked a couple of questions, including asking Tisetso what his name was. He answered "Batman." She (thankfully) found that amusing. After finding out our tax forms were not needed (thank you, Jesus), she said we could wait 45 minutes and they would print up the visa right there. We waited and had such a good time waiting. Tisetso opened up and Brian and I were relieved we weren’t being kicked out.

They called our name and we picked up his visa, which ended up being a sticker added to his South African passport. It wasn’t until 30 minutes later, after we had gone back through security, paid for parking and were driving past the embassy, that it hit me! We had his visa! We could legally leave the country with our son! Nothing was holding us back from getting on a plane and leaving and going home. I have to tell you, it was a freeing thought.

Brian and Tisetso paying for our parking. It cracked me up seeing Brian walk around with my Sherlock bag.

With visa in hand, we had to head back to the airport to drop off the manual Honda and get our new car. We, once again, found ourselves in terrible rush hour traffic.

Brian had signed up to get an Audi each time we rented a car. So far, we had ended up with a crappy Mercedes A100 hatchback that was supposed to be "comparable" to an A3, a super nice Lexus (after being given lots of free upgrades from an A4), and the manual Honda. JoBurg, take two, was the fourth time charm. Brian finally got his A4! Along with that, we got a trunk that fit our luggage perfectly. It was quite the success. The only way this car could have been more perfect is if the first gear pickup had been a bit stronger.

I drove us home to give Brian some rest. With the busy day we had had and the lack of time for Brian to work, he was going to be up late. Tisetso wanted to do a pajama party, so when we got home, we changed into our PJs, had supper, and watched Monsters Inc., complete with popcorn. It was a good night. We had a huge weight off our shoulders with visa in hand.

Posted on March 5, 2016 by Heidi and filed under adoption, In-Country Time, South Africa and tagged Tisetso Sandton travel.

South Africa: Day 41, Strand, Cape Town, Johannesburg, and Sandton (Big day!)

Monday, February 15

Today was a full day! We were able to get out of the flat in a timely manner and get our luggage into the car (a true feat as we have three huge duffel bags, three backpacks, one carry on, one booster seat, and the three of us). We had to swing by the flat rental place as we weren't able to pay for the additional days on Saturday. After paying, we headed to the office of Wybrow Oliver/Wandisa.

This was a hard goodbye. Brad and Rose had walked with us through so much. They are the ones who believed Tisetso would be a perfect match for our family (and they were right!). The staff at Wybrow Oliver/Wandisa were like a family away from home. Saying goodbye was harder than I thought it would be. We gave hugs, exchanged social media info, then headed to the airport.

Once there, we returned our car quickly. With that taken care of, we got our luggage wrapped (recommended for in-country flights to prevent luggage damage and theft), and checked in. We stopped at Mugg & Bean for lunch. We were all hungry and made short work of our meal. My only regret is that I didn’t get the chocolate chip cookie dough hot chocolate. I fear this decision will haunt me for the rest of my life.

After lunch, we boarded our plane. One thing that has been really different from America is prevalence of Islam. I counted five women wearing hijab and two women wearing full burkas in the line for our flight. I couldn’t help but think if this happened in America, there would be a lot of (unnecessary) hullabaloo.

Getting acquainted with the emergency procedures.

Our plane had a camera attached to the tail. We got to watch the flight from outside the plane. It was amazing. Brian and I want to know why this isn't on EVERY plane.

While flying, I took some time to meditate and draw out some verses my sister had send me the previous day. I have been having a difficult time with Tisetso for the past few days, and she had sent me Scripture to encourage me. It was the perfect activity for the plane. Our flight landed quickly and we didn’t hit any turbulence (my least favorite anxiety causing activity).

When we landed in JoBurg, we had a surprise waiting. Our plane was parked (do planes park??) far from the terminal. We disembarked via staircase and had to take one of many buses to the main terminal. Of course the bus didn’t have air-conditioning. We were far from the sea/bay, so the temperature was a good 20° hotter. Add too many people crammed into a stifling bus and we were wilted by the time we collected our luggage. We were thankful to find all four pieces had arrived safely.

One entertaining aspect to our picking up the car was we made the same exact wrong detour in trying to find the car rental place as when we landed January 6. We followed the signs and arrows and ended up in the wrong place on the wrong floor. Signage is not very clear here (arrows point in vague directions, there are sometimes misspellings, or just plain wrong). We’ve experienced that time and time again and are still surprised when it fails.

After getting to the car rental place, we had to figure out renting a car for one day. Brian had accidentally rented the car starting Tuesday. The calendars here start Monday, contrary to ours which start Sunday. Brian had clicked the second day of the week (Tuesday) and went on his merry way. Thankfully, we were able to secure a manual transmission Honda. Brian had been wanting to rent a manual while we were in South Africa (significantly cheaper and a bit more fun), but I suggested it might be a bit much trying to do right hand drive on the left side of the road, in a foreign country, with a kid. Thankfully, I am married to a reasonable guy and he obliged. After one day with this car, he was happy to get the automatic transmission for all but that day!

The drive from the airport to our new flat was ... interesting. We hadn’t fully experienced JoBurg rush hour traffic until this point. It was rough. We were amazed at the number of cars and the number of people on the highway. The shoulder (apparently) turns into a 7th lane when desired. It was a cultural experience, for sure. Along with that, our GPS decided to take us the scenic (read: scary and possibly a bit unsafe) route.

When we arrived at our new flat, we were thankful to have made it in one piece. It is a beautiful, modern, furnished two-bedroom apartment with a kitchen and super fast internet. Like even faster than at home, which is refreshing and kind of amazing. With our bags unloaded from the car, we made a quick drive to an awesome restaurant Tisetso had picked out when we were in Pretoria called Tasha’s. There was a location super close to our new flat. We tried to eat and leave quickly as it became apparent very quickly that Tisetso had had enough of the day. It had been a long one and he needed sleep.

We got back to the flat, got him changed into pajamas, and into bed. One surprise of our new flat was the 10,000,000 channels it has! One of them shows House Hunters International every single night from 8:00pm-10:00pm. Needless to say, I have a feeling Tisetso will be in bed, lights out every night before 8:00pm...