Learning to Trust the Lord

Our home study visit (the last one) got postponed a week. Our social worker's son has the stomach flu. While this is a perfectly reasonable reason, it really frustrated me. I wasn't frustrated with our social worker or her son, but after thinking through it, I was frustrated because I was not in control. We have been planning on this visit for six weeks. I had been cleaning our house furiously all day long. It was a rough combo.

As someone who is prideful, I think I know the best plan for my life. I want to know what is coming up next, when, and what to anticipate. This adoption process has made me face my sinfulness over and over again. Never before has the theme "Trust the Lord" become so prevalent in my life. Never before has that mantra pushed me far beyond my borders of comfort. It is often a war zone in my mind when I start worrying about the things I cannot control.

"How long is this process going to take?! Probably forever..." Trust the Lord.

"Are we going to adopt one or two? What are their stories?" Trust the Lord.

"Where are my kids right now? Are they being cared for and loved? Do they have enough to eat?" Trust the Lord.

"What is life going to be like when they come home? I've never been a mom and now I'm jumping in and mothering kids who have had difficult lives. Am I going to be any good?" Trust the Lord.

I'm sure we all can relate to this, even if you are not adopting. What is it in your life that you hold close to your chest? What is it that you say you trust the Lord about, but when He tries to change anything, you are faced with the reality that you want your own way? It is hard giving things completely to the Lord, but when I finally do, it is something I never regret.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. Proverbs 3:5 (ESV)

Prayer Requests

• We were given a list of things to do between now and next week's visit. Pray we will complete everything as quickly as possible. 
• Pray that, through this process, we would learn to trust the Lord and not lean on our own understanding.

Home Study Interviews

Tomorrow morning, Brian and I will be heading to Palos Heights. It is the first of four interviews needed to complete the dossier (explained here). This first interview will be conducted with both of us. The next two will be individual. To wrap it all up, we will have our final interview, March 12th, at our house.

We are nervous about these interviews because we don't know what all to expect. We know there will be a lot of questions, we just don't know which ones. 

Prayer Request

• That would have calm hearts in the midst of these interviews and we could think clearly as we answer the many questions.
• That the Lord would begin leading the social workers to the right kid(s) for us. They will be the ones pulling files and suggesting kid(s) to us. We trust the Lord will lay the kid(s) for us on their heart.

(Not so patiently) Waiting

Our home study paperwork was sent in three weeks ago today. We were supposed to receive a call at some point last week. This did not happen. Apparently the woman confused us with another couple and was waiting for my birthday to pass before calling—we would have been waiting quite some time!

Brian was able to wrangle a time out of them for our first home study interview, to take place next Tuesday in Palos Heights. Our final interview will be March 12th and take place in our home. This, in my humble opinion, is not happening quickly enough. If ever there was a time that my lack of patience was exposed, it is happening in this process.

Prayer Requests

• Our home study interviews would go well and be scheduled quickly (we still have 1-2 left to schedule between next week and March 12th).
• For patience. The stop and go of this process is driving me bonkers.
• That our kids would be waiting for us and we would be matched with them quickly.

Paper Pregnancy

On Sunday night, we finished out paperwork for the home study. It was quite the labor of love. It included things that needed notarization, lots of checking boxes, many signatures and dates, and the longest paper I have written since I left college (10 pages to be exact). I even had to get a physical for this thing—drug test and TB shot included. I am really starting to understand the term 'paper pregnancy'*. 

We had a brief scare today because when we entered our tracking number for the envelope, and it didn't show up. We thought it may have been lost. We prayed and waited. Then, as if the USPS website came back to life in an instant, our package showed that it would be delivered either today (Tuesday) or tomorrow (Wednesday). Yay!

Next up: We will schedule three interview sessions - two at the Bethany offices and one in our home. These interviews, along with the paperwork we sent in, will be the basis for our dossier. 

Prayer Requests:

• That we would be able to schedule these interviews soon and they would go smoothly.
• For my job - My hours were cut from two days down to one. This is to be expected as Office Max Naperville is closing, but still unfortunate. I'm praying the Lord will provide another job, equally as awesome as this one.

*Paper pregnancy is the term used to refer to the paperwork in the adoption process that leads to the child(ren) adopted, much like a physical pregnancy.

Adoption 101

Last night we had our first class through our agency, Bethany Christian Services. It was a good time of review, as most of what was discussed, we already had considered and talked about between the two of us. I especially appreciated seeing and hearing from other couples that are now walking down the same path we are. 

While we were there, we received a monstrous envelope filled with paperwork we will need to fill out (basically writing a novel) and legal documents we will need to hunt down in order to begin the home study process. 

We are excited to start this next step in our journey. This is a big one as it will result in our dossier (informative essay/documents sent to South Africa) being completed. It is my understanding that once we've finished this step, we will be eligible to be placed with a child!

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Prayer Requests

• That we would be able to set aside large chunks of our time to complete this paperwork and send it in.
• That the Lord would protect us as we are seeking to do something we know He has called us to.
• As we were driving home last night, our car died and had to be towed to a shop. Please pray that repairs would be quick and cheap, and that we would not be discouraged by disruptions in day-to-day life during this exceptionally stressful and hectic time.