Posts tagged #mall

Some Lions and a Giraffe Named Zöe

Our last few days have been full, if Phindi’s yawns and sleeping in are anything to go by! Tisetso has helped at the Haven (where he grew up), we went to the outlet mall, we went to the Lion & Safari Park, and the Mall of Africa. We also had a day where we did absolutely nothing but school and eating out, but that was the day before everything crazy started. It’s been a whirlwind! We wanted to get these things done before Friday because Friday was a school holiday for Good Friday, and Monday is a national holiday - Family Day! (Also, Phindi’s birthday, how special!)

Tisetso had a great time at the Haven, again. He loves helping there and being with the kids. It gives him time to connect with his roots and with kids who were in a situation just like he was. When he was done hanging out there, we headed to the outlet mall so he could check out the Nike outlet. We stopped at a store called Makro for lunch and ate at Wimpy (a burger place). While sitting there, we noticed the Walmart logo in a few places. Brian did some digging and found that Walmart had bought a controlling share in Makro and a few other associated brands.

Tisetso and his fancy hot chocolate while out with Brian at a coffee shop.

After we had finished lunch, we were walking to the exit and I noticed a few simple long-sleeve shirts that I wanted to buy. We grabbed a roll of mints and some lozenges to complete our order. We got to the check out only to be told that you needed a Makro membership card (a la Sam’s Club) to shop. Oops! After handing over our big / not so big purchase, we left empty handed. The Nike store was a bust, too.

Aslan greeted us at the entrance. Much more elaborate than the last time we went!

The next day, we got up bright and early to head to the Lion and Safari park. We had gone here before, but we figured it would still but a fun excursion for our family. It was a beautiful drive to the park and we loved seeing the countryside outside of Johannesburg. The safari ride was fun! We got to see a bunch of lions, some zebra (rhymes with “Deborah” here), giraffes, and sable antelopes—which we were told were a rare treat! One of the giraffes we saw was named Zöe and was hand-raised, so it often comes up to the safari trucks and says hi! (See above.)

Me and a giraffe (one of my favorite animals!)

After, we went to lunch at the restaurant on campus and were really disappointed. The food came out one person at a time, and about 40 minutes after we placed our order, the chef came out and told Brian and I that the chicken (what we had ordered) wasn’t cooked yet. We had to order something else. It was very frustrating, right until a giraffe just walked right on by. Way to redeem the whole thing, giraffe!

The Mall of Africa, the largest mall on the continent!

With the giraffe pet, we made our way to the Mall of Africa. Yes, another mall! We had to check it out because they were building it the last time we were here. It felt like the mall that’s closest to us (Sandton City), just moderately bigger and maybe a little nicer. Not worth another trip, to be sure. I was glad for all of the jobs it generates. That has to be a huge number!

Today was a pretty low-key day. We went and saw the new movie The Bad Guys. It was really fun and the animation was wall done. I enjoyed it and recommend the movie to anyone looking for a feel-good movie. Get this—we bought four tickets, four popcorns, four drinks, and three candies all for about $40! Major score on our part! The theater we were in was the ‘kids theater,’ complete with bean bag chairs (with cup holders) and a huge slide into a foam pit!

Us during load shedding when our power was out.

We’ve had a crazy few days, as I said, and then next few will be just as crazy. Tomorrow is Easter, Monday is Phindi’s 10th birthday, and Tuesday sees us flying to Cape Town and moving to a new flat for a month. Please keep us in your prayers. We have seen some evidences of the ‘honeymoon phase’ coming to an end, but then things snap back. We know it won’t last forever and that real work begins when we’re all open and ready. Pray when that time comes, we’re loving and ready to build lasting attachment bonds.

The kids next to a Mandela statue at Carnivore—an all-you-can-eat game meat restaurant.

A quick note: Carnivore was a delicious place filled with meats from all over South Africa! I’m adding the menu so you can see what sorts of things we tried. It’s a must for anyone who visits this area. We visited last time we came.

Posted on April 16, 2022 by Heidi and filed under adoption, In-Country Time, South Africa, attachment / bonding and tagged lion park Johannesburg Sandton mall.

Introducing: Phindile (Phindi) Ann Malcolm

We are so excited to introduce to everyone, Phindile Ann Malcolm, also known as Phindi (PIN-dee). She is shy, but don’t let that fool you! Once she opens up, this girl is silly and sweet and everything in between. She is so loved by us and has been loved and cared for by so many who knew her before us.

We work up early this morning and shared a ride with Mama Debbie, the woman who runs the care home Phindi is from, because the leader of a political party, Julius Malema, was going to be at the same court house as us today and they were expecting protests. We were driven there and encountered roads blocked and a 15 minute drive turned into a 30 minute drive. Then, our 9:00 am court date was delayed. At first it was only for a few minutes. Malema and his legal team even walked past us! Then we found out the magistrate’s (judge’s) brother had passed away moments before, which carried a lot of unknowns for our family—potentially even a hindering thing to our case. One hour led to two which led to three. Finally, after close to four hours of sitting and waiting, our magistrate was ready to see us.

We entered her office and she greeted us with a smile. Brian and I sat in front of her desk while Phindi and Mama Debbie sat behind us and Tisetso sat on a bench to our left with some government social workers. Our lawyer handed us papers from the right while the judge asked us if we had been compelled in any way to the adoption. We swore we had not been. Then we held Phindi’s hands as we swore that we entered into the adoption promising to give Phindi all she needed, which included to teach her right from wrong, to share her birth culture with her, and to love her unconditionally. We signed quickly on the dotted lines! When the magistrate began stamping each page and signing, I began tearing up. It was official. We were now her parents. Four years of stress and tears and paperwork had culminated in this moment in a magistrate’s office.

When we were done, we snapped a quick photo with the magistrate, then hustled out. We took a few more photos on the steps of the courthouse, but were quick with that as well. Many members of the political party of the leader being tried today were there and causing quite the ruckus. They were all dressed in red, so it was a sea of red over the parking lot. Mama Debbie led us around the protesters and through the parking lot and about a block away to wait for Uncle Joe (who works at the care home) to come and pick us up.

Brother and Sister watching Encanto together.

Our plan when we got back to the flat was to get a celebratory milkshake, but because it was pushing 2:00 pm, we decided on lunch and milkshakes. We headed to…the mall. You guessed it! Phindi wanted pizza and chips (fries). She was adamant about her fries being from McDonald’s, which surprised me. Tisetso got McDonald’s, while Brian, Phindi, and I got a pizza.

After lunch, we went to a little pop up where Tisetso got to paint a chocolate egg with edible paint and Phindi got to decorate a chocolate bar. It was fun seeing her say yes and no to certain things. She seems to be fairly decisive, which is unusual for kids who are not used to having as much say in daily life. When we had our fill of Easter activities, we amused Tisetso with an excursion into a shoe store (which resulted in no purchases). This kid is ridiculous about tennis shoes to a fault. It’s out of control.

Phindi loves imitating people and here she’s imitating her brother.

We then headed on the eternal quest to find a small clock for Tisetso’s room. We’ve walked all over this stinking mall looking for a clock and there was one in Woolworths the whole time! We should have checked there first. After a quick stop at Clicks for some hair conditioner spray and lotion, we headed home.

I stepped into the driver’s seat this time. It was my first time driving this trip. I am happy to report two things:
1. We hit nothing / no one. 2. I only hit the windshield wiper once. (Remember it’s on the left side where the turning signal is usually at and the turning signal is on the right.) I made Brian nervous, but was not nervous myself, so I consider that a victory!

When we got home, we called our family to announce Phindi’s name. “Ann” is a family name - both grandmothers and both aunts share the name. We also learned that the woman who runs the care home shares this middle name as well! Phindi enjoyed meeting everyone, sharing her new name, and showing off her court dress.

After the calls, we got her into her jammies and she picked Trolls for the movie night. It was precious because she would sing along to some of the songs. My heart couldn’t handle the cuteness. When we went to put her bed, our water was out again (eye roll), so Brian pilfered some buckets of water from the pool downstairs so we could flush toilets and and we used our drinking water for brushing teeth. Thankfully we didn’t mix the two up! :)

She and Tisetso are now asleep in their beds. I can’t believe this is our life now. Some day this will seem totally normal, but for now, this is special and new.

Posted on April 7, 2022 by Heidi and filed under adoption, family anniversary, In-Country Time, South Africa, transitions and tagged court date Johannesburg Sandton mall.

We've Gone to the Birds!

Our day started early here as we decided to head to Montecasino (an elaborate—bordering on ridiculous—entertainment resort complex) with our daughter. We had been to the bird park there twice on our last visit and it seemed a perfect day to go. Despite being in the mid-70s, we saw many people dressed in long sleeves and even heavy jackets! Sort of like when it hits 65° in southwest Florida.

Upon entering the park, we fed the ducks, which our son and daughter particularly liked. We walked all around in the sunshine and saw monkeys not longer than 1’, lemurs, birds from all around the world and snakes. Brian loved the snakes! Ha! (Where are their arms and legs?!)

Kookaburra landing on the trainer’s hat as planned.

We attended a bird demonstration in which a Kookaburra landed on an audience member’s head, unplanned (after landing on the hat of a trainer which was planned). That was exciting. I decided that the Kookaburra is probably the cutest bird ever and may be my new favorite bird. We watched a crow named “Russell Crow” pick up aluminum cans and put them in the recycling bin. Apparently he took to the trick quickly “because he likes shiny things.”

After the show, we decided to get dessert first, before lunch. We each picked out a snack and ate next to the park by the flamingos. After the sugar was consumed, we played a little tag at the park. Well, I half-heartedly ran because I didn’t want to get overly sweaty. Call me mother of the year! Then we walked around the inside of the complex and found a place for lunch. It’s a huge place and has shops and restaurants. I wanted to eat at the place that puts your pasta in a round of cheese and then lets it melt the cheese, but NO! they didn’t have hot dogs for the kids. Kids ruin everything. I’m just kidding…only sort of. :)

During lunch, we began preparing our daughter that tomorrow she will begin sleeping at our flat after court. We are calling it “her sleep-over” and asked her what she wanted to do and she said watch a movie. We said you can’t have a movie without sweets and popcorn! We found a shop with just that and let her and Tisetso walk around and pick out their favorites and drinks.

When we returned to our daughter’s care home, they were having a party. It was a birthday party for one of the house mamas and a good-bye party for our daughter. At one point, the woman who runs the care home had the children say why they would miss her. Here are a few highlights from those given:

They will miss her love and her kindness.
They will miss her jokes and her silliness.
They will miss that she draws, swims, and plays dolls with others.
They will miss her because she is her best friend.

At this point, I was trying not to cry as 20 children told our daughter why they would miss her. After the party, we had a meeting with our lawyer and social worker from Cape Town who had flown in for court tomorrow. They came to our flat and we sat outside by the VERY green (closed for the season) pool. When we arrived at the flat, we found out that we had no running water, which was fun. Anyway, the meeting went well and we felt reassured and ready for court.

We took our daughter back to the care home for dinner and we felt a brevity in saying good-bye to her for the last time. We were excited that tomorrow we wouldn’t have to say good-bye anymore.

Because we had no running water, we went to the mall to use the loo (fun word for bathroom), pick up some needed items, and get dinner. After dinner, we headed back to the flat in the dark, something we do try to avoid. Thankfully we didn’t run into any issues and came back to running water. Yay!

I have been trying to get a picture of this sign for days! What does it even mean?!

If you think about it, please pray for us tomorrow. We will be in court at 9:00 am, which is 2:00 am Central Daylight Time. Apparently there may be a protest about a political leader who attacked a police officer at a funeral at this court building. It won’t make things easier, that’s for sure. Either way, we just pray that the adoption is finalized and everything is clear for the lawyer and magistrate (judge). Thank you for walking with us on this journey. We can’t wait to introduce you to our daughter!

Posted on April 6, 2022 by Heidi and filed under adoption, In-Country Time, South Africa and tagged before court Monte Casino Johannesburg Sandton mall.

Tic-Tac-Toe and Hugs All Around

Breakfast, Tea, & Coffee at Manaka Coffee

This morning started early as we wanted to get to Manaka Coffee to try it out before going to meet up with our daughter. It was a great coffee shop with a lovely tea selection. (Ha!) Brian also had coffee. We had a great breakfast of flap jacks, eggs Benedict, and steel-cut oats. After a few “friendly waves” (what we call it when Brian accidentally hits the windshield wipers instead of the turn signal—which is on the opposite side of the steering wheel), we made it to the care home.

Our first stop of the day was to the flat to show our daughter her dress for adooption finalization at court (which is happening Thursday morning for all of you who like to pray for us). We showed it to her and she loved it. She said she felt like a princess. I’ve had that dress since we were matched with her—over two years ago!

After she approved the dress, we needed shoes, so we headed to Woolworths. I let her pick out shoes and she picked out tennis shoes. I suggested we get those and pick out some dress shoes for court. Then I took her over to the girls clothes and let her walk around and pick out anything that she liked. She picked out a pink sweatpants and zipper sweatshirt combo because pink is her favorite color. She seemed overwhelmed, so I suggested a few more things that she approved.

We then met Tisetso and Brian at a place for lunch. It’s the same restaurant where we had our sixth anniversary dinner back in 2016! It was delicious and our daughter was able to get her favorite meal—macaroni and cheese. Tisetso showed off his new purchase: a pair of low-top dark green tennis shoes, which he is adding to his “collection”. While we waited for our lunch, I taught our daughter how to play tic-tac-toe. It was so much fun playing with her and seeing her confidence rise with each game. She even beat me fairly a couple of times! Once we had finished lunch, we picked out cake for one of the house mamas whose birthday is tomorrow. We hope she likes rainbow velvet (our daughter’s choice).

The garden where our daughter has undoubtedly spent many hours.

We headed to our daughter’s previous care home facility in the organization (she had just been moved to a new home six weeks ago). Today was hard, as it was a lot of good-byes to house mamas and many of the friends and peers that she loves. One of the teachers at the preschool started to tear up and said, “We are so happy, but it’s so hard.” There were a few moments like that, but most everyone said good-bye with joy for our daughter and were happy to meet us.

After we had said many good-byes, our daughter indicated she was ready to return to her (current) home. When we got there, we assembled the older kids and introduced them to three American candies—Dots, Pez, and Pop Rocks. The kids all agreed the grape Pez tasted like medicine and they all loved (and were sufficiently weirded out by) the Pop Rocks. After the sugar had been consumed, we headed upstairs to play some games and decorate some cards for the house mama’s birthday tomorrow. The girls especially loved the idea of having cards to give to her. We then said good-bye to our daughter for the night and promised to be back the next morning.

We had to head back to the mall for some supplies and additional groceries. We made a mistake and went to the grocery store hungry. We ended up coming home with a lot of carbs (insert eye roll here for knowing better). We left the carbs at home and went to The Codfather across the street for dinner. Tisetso still would not try a Cape gooseberry. Maybe next time.

One huge thing we all received today was a hug from our daughter / sister. When we went to say good-bye, we offered to give her a high five (a common thing we offer to kids in case they are uncomfortable with physical affection), and she said no, then hugged us all in turn. It was really beautiful and unexpected. We hope and pray for more victories and milestones like that in the coming days as we show up and do what we promised to do.

Posted on April 5, 2022 by Heidi and filed under adoption, In-Country Time, South Africa and tagged before court Johannesburg Sandton mall.

Krispy Kreme and some snails...YUM!

A really neat typographical use of the South African flag (“Y”) and colorway

Today started off with Tisetso and I turning up our noses to plain yogurt at a restaurant. We are so used to flavored yogurt that it was startling to taste plain anything. Brian isn’t overly fond of yogurt in any form. After an amended breakfast, we headed to go see our daughter for the day.

Seeing as it was the second rainy day in a row, which apparently is unheard of, the woman who runs the organization suggested we take our daughter and a friend to the mall for the day and catch a movie. This was a surprise to us as we had planned to spend most of the day with her at the home and then take her on a small outing in the afternoon. Everyone belted in, we backed our little Quest Love out and headed for Sandton City (the nicest mall you ever did see).

Once at the mall, we headed to the cinema to see what and when movies were playing. Unfortunately for us, the girls wanted to see Encanto, which stated at 1:15, and it was 9:30. If you know Brian or I, you know that staying at the mall for that long is not a dream come true. So, we made other plans. We headed to the food court and got some Krispy Kreme donuts (the girls’ choice), a Cinnabon cinnamon roll, more coffee for Brian, and sodas. After sugar was consumed, our daughter’s friend pulled me aside and asked if she could get our daughter something to remember her and the other girls by. I was so touched that our daughter is so loved by these girls and will be so missed.

We went to the toy store next and the friend and I went on a secret mission. Brian, Tisetso, and our daughter walked around while the friend and I tried to sneakily purchase a baby doll and some accessories. I think we were successful. We had the doll double-bagged before our daughter could see what was up. Bag in hand, we went to Click’s (like Walgreens) and the girls got to pick out two snacks each.

After that we headed back to our flat. We showed our daughter around and her room when she would be staying with us, which hopefully will be in just a few short days! Tour over, we busted out the snacks and put Encanto on the TV. It’s such a good movie and we had a good time watching it. When we were done, we went BACK TO THE MALL (ugh) for lunch because everything is in the mall.

When we were done with lunch and everyone was sufficiently re-sugared up from milkshakes and bottomless lemonades, we headed back to the home. We played games and introduced a new game called Tenzi to the girls (we started by usiung only five dice, while the game calls for ten). They seemed to love it and enjoyed playing with us. We played a few more games and gave our daughter a couple of American candies to try. Then the girls wanted to head outside with all of the other kids. Brian and I went outside with them and were inundated with children!

We were immediately separated and were asked a million questions. “Are you married?” (Yes. Who do you think to?) “Why do your hands look like this?” (They’re dry. Thanks, kid. Ha!) “Are you ****’s mom?” (Yes! I am!) “Is **** your mom?” (Now how would that work?!) “Are you Father Christmas?” (That one, thankfully, was directed at Brian.) “Have you ever been to the North Pole?” (No, that sounds too cold for me.) “Let me touch your beard!” (Also directed at Brian.) “Let me touch your beard!” (I don’t have a beard!) You get the picture. It was pretty funny and overwhelming. During this interrogation, we were directed to the garden snails that live in the palm fronds. At one point, they grabbed three and had a race. It was pretty fun.

After saying goodbye to our daughter for the night, we headed home. I took a nap as it’s emotionally and mentally draining for me to be “on” all day. At this point in the process, when you’re looking to build connections wherever you can, you are on. One beautiful moment of today was when our daughter grabbed my hand and held on. She started out by holding my arm then slid her hand down to my wrist. I held my hand out and she took it. It was such a small, but huge thing. She is getting more comfortable with us little by little. We are so, so thankful for every victory and look forward to the next one.