Links for All Posts for Our Second South Africa Adoption Trip

Just like the first go-round (though not daily this time), here are all of the days, linked up for your convenience. Thanks again for reading this portion of our story!

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Post 1: 3/14/22
This is not a drill!

Post 2: 3/31/22
We’re here and tired, but oh so excited!

Post 3: 4/1/22
Another day, another pothole

Post 4: 4/2/22
Tomorrow changes everything. Again.

Post 5: 4/3/22
Meeting our daughter and sister

Post 6: 4/4/22
Krispy Kreme and some snails…YUM!

Post 7: 4/5/22
Tic-Tac-Toe and Hugs All Around

Post 8: 4/6/22
We’ve Gone to the Birds!

Post 9: 4/7/22
Introducing Phindile (Phindi) Ann Malcolm

Post 10: 4/10/22
The Past Few Days

Post 11: 4/16/22
Some Lions and a Giraffe Named Zöe

Post 12: 4/20/22
Load Shedding is My Nemesis.

Post 13: 4/27/22
A Week in the Life of the Malcolms in Somerset West

Post 14: 5/10/22
Mother’s Day

Post 15: 5/23/22
Nana’s Visit

Post 16: 6/12/22
What We’ve Been Up To

Post 17: 6/18/22
When Worlds Collide in South Africa

Post 18: 6/29/22
The Final Step Before Home

Post 19: Coming soon!

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You can find a similar post with links to all of our posts from our 2016 trip to South Africa here.

The Final Step Before Home

The Malcolms at Cape Town International Airport

On Monday morning, we flew from Cape Town to Johannesburg. It was hard to say goodbye as we had spent two months there. The Helderberg Basin with its mountains surrounding us and the False Bay—not to mention the countless shops, restaurants, and our church family there always in view felt like a home away from home.

Father’s Day 2022

We had a great flight from Cape Town to Johannesburg and were able to get to our new accommodations easily. We are actually in the same building as The Codfather, a favorite restaurant of ours two months ago when we were here.

Phindi with a new LEGO set.

After settling in, we got ready for a busy Tuesday. On Tuesday, we met up with a family adopting one of Phindi’s best friends (and former bunkmate) from her care home. We had breakfast with them and had them over to our flat so the girls could spend some more time playing. After hanging out with them for most of the morning and some of the afternoon, we got ready to meet Mama Debbie and her husband for dinner at Nelson Mandela Square.

Tisetso being silly in Nelson Mandela Square in 2016.

Teenage Tisetso in 2022.

Phindi at Nelson Mandela Square in 2022.

We had such a wonderful time with them at dinner. We are so thankful they wanted to spend extra time with Phindi and with the rest of us. It is so special to have these moments, especially as our time is winding down here.

Evening view from our new flat.

The biggest news is that on Wednesday, we had our visa appointment at the US Consulate. It was quite the adventure, as it was when we went with Tisetso, although much less time was spent this time.

We arrived half an hour early only to find our names weren’t on the list. Thankfully, our lawyer had emailed us the confirmation email and that seemed to suffice in getting us through the door. At security, despite Brian checking the list of prohibited items, we were stopped because of the MANY cables, thumb drives, and batteries that seemed to spring out of every pocket in Brian’s backpack (which has a lot of pockets).

After turning off and turning in our phones and electronic paraphernalia, we were allowed to go through. As with last time, it felt surreal to be on “American soil” in South Africa. We were almost put into a long line, but thankfully we were redirected at the last minute to a different window where we were seen only ten minutes later. One form and many dollars later, we raised our right hands and swore we were giving the correct information. We were told to come back on Friday after 11:00 am to collect the passport with the visa attached.

Evening view from another angle in our flat.

So as of Tuesday, June 28th, we will be flying home. We officially purchased our tickets today. It feels crazy that our time here is rapidly coming to an end. I am so thankful that this time around, homesickness has been kept at bay. Do I miss home? Sure! But it’s not an overwhelming, powerful, all-consuming feeling like it felt at times last time we were here.

We would just ask that you pray over our family as we have some good-byes to say in the next few days that are going to be hard. Phindi is especially anxious and resistant to going to America. We can’t blame her—it’s a whole new world and culture that she doesn’t know yet! We hope and pray she will come to love her new home and the people she will meet there, but for now, it’s a big scary unknown.

Thank you for keeping our family in your thoughts and prayers. We couldn’t have made this trip without your support.

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EDIT: Sorry this post wasn’t put up sooner! I thought it had been posted! Gah!

When Worlds Collide in South Africa

The whole gang - on a 1.5 hour ocean cruise looking for wild life, especially hoping for dolphins and whales.

My sister and her family were able to come visit us from Turkey. They spent the week with us adventuring all over the Cape area. We loved having them spend time with us.

Cousins at the Two Oceans Aquarium

My brother-in-law, Aaron, has always wanted to visit Cape Town, so we were especially glad he was able to cross this off his bucket list. We are sure, though, that now he’s been here, he may want to come back—maybe even permanently. This city (and this country) tends to have that effect on people.

These two, plus Nora, were peas in a pod. It was great to see friendships forming over the week.

We got to visit Cape Town a few times, including a coffee tour for Brian and Aaron, which was to their liking. It was to Erin and I’s liking that we didn’t have to go on the tour. The kids, Erin, and I went to pet a cheetah while they sipped coffee.

The girls and Heidi with Tobias the cheetah.

The boys and Tobias the cheetah.

We also went on a fun ocean cruise to see some ocean wildlife. We—especially Aaron and I—were really hoping to see dolphins and whales. Unfortunately, we only saw seals and penguins. The really neat thing was that the groups of penguins (a huddle) were so far from land. I’ve only ever seen them in shallow water by the rock colonies they live in.

Nora found a shell with an inhabitant.

We also spent a day going down the coast. We were able to have everyone meet Tahiyya, which was such a great time. We then headed down to meet some penguins at Seaforth Beach. Unfortunately, there were only two penguins out that day, but it was a good day for shells. Nora found a really neat shell, only to discover it still had someone living in it.

Erin discovered the “medium” cone should be called the “AS BIG AS YOUR FACE” cone.

Erin and I had a fun tradition of fitting in an ice cream cone by the beach in every day, except the very last day. We had so much fun eating our cones and enjoying people watching by the beach, except for one day when we kept getting whiffs of trash. That day stunk literally.

I call this one: Cousins connecting over the internet while sitting next to each other on the couch.

The week was such a great blessing to us because Turkey is not next door to Illinois. We don’t know when we’ll see them next. It’s always so much fun to connect and spend time together. We are so thankful they took time and all the effort to make it to this corner of the world to hang out with us and meet the newest Malcolm.

What We've Been Up To

Roger and Merry Ann (Grandpa and Grandma Malcolm) + the Malcolms at Tasha’s

We’ve been running around this corner of the world quite a bit the last few weeks. Brian’s parents, Roger and Merry Ann, came to visit us just after my mom departed for home. We have loved getting to introduce Phindi to everyone and showing them around (for the second time)!

Phindi and Roger on the Cape Wheel

We really enjoyed having Roger and Merry Ann visit because they had come visit last time we were here six years ago. We didn't have to hit the same spots, so we were free to visit some new ones and throw in a few days at home as well.

Nelson Mandela’s cell on Robben Island

One of the really powerful things we did do was visit Robben Island. We tried to go last time we were here, but were unable to make it happen. This time around, we made it work. Not only was it compelling to ride around on the island and hear about the history, but we got to go on a walking tour led by a former political prisoner who had actually been imprisoned on Robben Island!

The entrance to Robben Island prison

It was easily my favorite thing we have done here. Nothing can beat a first hand account of what it was like to live on the island and to be imprisoned for fighting for the freedom of your people. It was incredibly moving.

Dinner without power. Thanks, Load shedding.

Roger and Merry Ann also got to enjoy load shedding a couple of times while they were here. The first time meant we had to quickly cook a roast in the oven before six (when the power outage kicked in). The second time was when the Robben Island excursion took much longer than planned and we got locked out of the house because we didn’t have the right key and the garage wouldn’t open. Once again, load shedding is my nemesis.

My kids, putting up with a photo. (Haha!)

We went to a place called the Giraffe House that has a ton of animals, including—you guessed it—giraffes. The highlight of that trip was when the workers changed the huge branches while we were there and all six of the giraffes came right over to graze on the new leaves. It was so neat to see them all and to be so close to them. They’re one of my favorite animals, so I’m always glad to get to see them.

Cape of Good Hope, South Africa

We took a day to drive down the coast of the Cape and visit Cape Point and the Cape of Good Hope. They have a funicular you can ride up and down the mountain to the top of Cape Point, which is a fun little ride with a great view. We were especially lucky and saw many animals this trip: zebras, baboons (with a baby!), bok (antelope), ostriches, and seals.

Baboons picking at each other. NATURE!

Merry Ann faithfully whisking away.

While the Malcolms were here, it was Brian’s 41st birthday. Hoping to make it feel a little more like home, I asked Merry Ann to pack a box of angel food cake mix, a container of vanilla icing, and her angel food cake pan. She was kind enough to oblige my odd requests and she and I worked together to whisk the angel food cake mix into existence. Whisking was a much more muscle-inducing experience than the usual hand-held mixer experience I have. Thankfully, it came out perfectly and we all enjoyed the cake, especially the birthday guy!

SWAG from Kids Day and from Tisetso’s savings account!

Tisetso and Brian went into Cape Town on a mission to get new shoes. They hit up somewhere around 5 or 6 shoe stores and found Tisetso a sweet new track suit. He had a great time with his dad.

Department of Home Affairs on Friday

Department of Home Affairs on Monday

One last little bit of news before I wrap up this post is that Brian got news that Phindi’s passport had arrived at the Department of Home Affairs (DHA). He waited until his parents had departed for home, then headed into the city on Friday and stood in line for 5.5 hours only to be the first person in line to be turned away at the end of the day and was told to ‘come back on Monday.’ He got up at 4:30 on the following Monday and stood in line from 5:30 onwards. At 12:30, he had her passport in hand! This is huge news! This is the step we were told could take 6-8 weeks and only took 3. We are so thankful.

Brian stopped at Truth Coffee before heading home for a well-deserved nap.

Mother's Day

A typical teenager — doesn’t want a photo with mom.

Mother’s Day is a hard day for many. For several years, Mother’s Day was difficult because I knew we were waiting for a child who was more than likely already in the world, but still unknown to us. But to be totally honest, Mother’s Day has always been a difficult day for me since becoming a mother myself.

I am blessed beyond understanding to be the mother to two amazing kids. But I know that the road they travelled to get to our family was a difficult one. I feel like I’m walking a line here, so stick with me. I want to be honest with you—our friends and family—and I want to preserve the trust and story of our children.

When you enter a new family and—for whatever reason—birth parents have not met your needs, you are going to have trauma responses. So imagine with me, our son and daughter having a day centered around their mom (me), but it’s a lot to handle. A whole day when you are celebrating what moms are supposed to be and do for their families. That’s why I try my best to hold Mother’s Day with open hands.

I am not their first mother. I am so thankful that their first mothers chose life, because I have two beautiful children because of their choices. Not a day goes by where I am not thankful for their lives and their presence in my life, even on the hard days.

Silly faces with Phindi.

So yes, Mother’s Day is wonderful and fun, but in our family, it holds a heaviness that sometimes doesn’t have a name attached to it, but we can feel its presence. But every Mother’s Day, I hold in my heart space to be grateful for the choice of life their first mothers gave to them.

A Week in the Life of the Malcolms in Somerset West

It’s been a whole week since I posted. I know you all have been clamoring for a post, but not much out of the “ordinary” has been happening. We’ve been staying close to our flat this week as it has just been time getting used to our new location and schedule.

Phindi enjoying her “skip rope” in our garden.

With this flat, we have a small garden (yard) and Phindi has been enjoying it by jumping rope and running around chasing her brother (mostly while they play hide and go seek). We’ve also settled in and started home schooling in earnest. The kids love when we do school (read: sarcasm). Tisetso receives his $3 reward for having a good attitude for the week, and Phindi gets to pick out a sweet at the mall for every four days of good attitude.

Table Mountain

We did go into Cape Town proper this past Sunday morning, as the church we attend meets at 4:30 p.m. We went to a world-renowned coffee shop called Truth where the decor and staff’s getups are all steampunk themed. The food and tea were excellent, and Brian says the coffee was great. I cannot testify to that. Gross.

The streets and clear skies of Cape Town.

After coffee, we headed to the Victoria and Albert Waterfront. It was a great place to visit last time we were here and where we spent most of our time in Cape Town. We loved getting to show Phindi around some of the Waterfront. It’s quite big, so we didn’t get to see all of it this trip.

One of the ships being repaired.

One of many seals we saw. This one just hung out like this for a while…maybe sunning itself? It almost got run over by a boat!

It wasn’t supposed to rain, but it happened to do so briefly while we were eating for lunch (indoors)! We did stop by the big warehouse where all of the artisans have booths and I found a necklace I really like (my first Cape Town purchase). Tisetso found a Mother’s Day present I was told not to ask questions about.

Pizza and Movie Night!

We also had a pizza and movie night last Friday and introduced Phindi to Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone! It was magical! If you know anything about me, one of the things you probably know is that I love Harry Potter, so introducing my daughter to the wizarding world of Harry Potter was such a joy.

Harry Potter and my Harry Potter tattoo.

Phindi coloring on the back patio.

Phindi and I baking chocolate chip cookies (the best!).

When Tisetso and I made cookies for the first time together in South Africa.

Phindi and I also had a baking time together. I have my favorite cookie recipe memorized, so it was quick and easy to make. She and I had fun making them and apparently she is addicted to cookies, also known as ‘biscuits’ here. She’s been asking for them left and right!

Lest you forget this photo-hating teenager of mine is on this trip, too.

We also went to the beach in Strand (a 5 minute ride from our flat) and got ice cream and walked the beach. I made the apparent mistake of ordering a “medium” cone!

A medium cone the size of my face!

Load Shedding is My Nemesis.

Our birthday girl turned 10!

I meant to write an update a couple of nights ago, but load shedding has been happening quite often, up to twice a day. Tomorrow (04/21) we are supposed to have three, 2.5-hour times of electricity free time (bleh). Currently, South Africa is in stage 4 (out of 8) of electrical lock down. Cape Town—more specifically Somerset West where we are—is in stage 3, which means two to three load shedding times a day. It really stinks. Tomorrow (04/21) will be at 2 am-4:30 am, 10 am-12:30 pm, and 6 pm-8:30 pm. The worst one is the 6pm-8:30 pm spot because it covers dinner to bedtime.

Yes that’s a sharp knife. It’s a tradition to cut your cake while the other kids at your party scream as loud as they can. No clue why, but that’s how it goes. It’s pretty hilarious.

Phindi celebrated her 10th birthday on Monday! She opened presents from us when she woke up and had a good time doing so. She got a stuffed rainbow filled with unicorned animals (unicorned is now a word) and a bracelet-making kit from Tisetso. Brian and I got her a Polly Pocket, an Anna doll, a Frozen watch, and a beautiful necklace with her birthstone. She was intrigued by the Polly Pocket Brian and I got her as she hadn’t seen one before.

Nana and Pop-Pop singing Happy Birthday to Phindi.

After breakfast and explaining how to read a watch tell the time of 10:30 am, we left to go to Phindi’s former care home to pick up the five oldest girls for a birthday party back at our flat. Because only five (including driver) could fit into our rental car, we ended up also using an Uber van to get everyone there and back.

Phindi admiring her necklace.

The birthday went as follows:

• Girls arrive and cause some mild chaos. Brian orders many pizzas for delivery.

• Chaos is contained with a craft of Lego Dots bracelets.

• Onward (Pixar) was put on for entertainment. No one seemed overly interested. Pizzas arrive.

• Pizzas were consumed while the songs from Encanto were sung. “We don’t talk about Bruno, no-no!”

• Onward was ditched and Encanto was put on (not surprising).

• Cake was cut with only mild screaming and a round of “Happy Birthday” (multiple verses—”how old are you nowww?” and two HURRAHS!

• Presents were opened.

• Cake eaten, some seconds requested.

• Back to Encanto, milkshakes ordered, delivered, consumed.

• MAXIMUM SUGAR HIGH.

• Took everyone back to the home via rental car and Uber van. (Do you see our timing there? Ha!)

Tisetso enjoyed the party, too.

Phindi’s first flight!

The day after her birthday (Tuesday), we headed to Cape Town. Phindi had never flown before so it was a whole new experience for her. She did such a great job!

Buckled up and ready to go!

Because we have so many bags (hello three-month stay), we decided to upgrade our tickets. This gave us a “bonus seat” in each row of three. It was a dream. We also got priority boarding, row 2 seating, “free” (included) snacks and drinks, and priority luggage handling (meaning it was the first off the plane).

View from above.

Phindi loved seeing everything from so high up. She was enamored with the clouds and the mountains, the closer we got to Cape Town.

Tisetso and Table Mountain

We even got a glimpse of Table Mountain on our descent into Cape Town. It was clear and beautiful out!

Siblings at the beach.

The water was SO cold, but we got used to it quickly. There were actual crazy people swimming in the water!

Another wonderful first for Phindi was getting to see the sea and the beach. Today we visited Tisetso’s former foster mother who now lives in Cape Town. She took us to a restaurant on the because and Phindi was champing at the bit to get on the beach. After lunch, we all took off our shoes and walked two miles along the Cape.

Brian on Fish Hoek Beach.

Tisetso, Tahiyya, and Phindi

We loved getting to spend the time with Tahiyya (foster mother) and her boyfriend. They are wonderful people with big hearts for others. We are so glad they’re in Cape Town and we can see them more in the coming weeks. For now, we will just appreciate that I can do a load of laundry and that the lights are on.

Some Lions and a Giraffe Named Zöe

South Africa is full of views!

Our last few days have been full, if Phindi’s yawns and sleeping in are anything to go by! Tisetso has helped at the Haven (where he grew up), we went to the outlet mall, we went to the Lion & Safari Park, and the Mall of Africa. We also had a day where we did absolutely nothing but school and eating out, but that was the day before everything crazy started. It’s been a whirlwind! We wanted to get these things done before Friday because Friday was a school holiday for Good Friday, and Monday is a national holiday - Family Day! (Also, Phindi’s birthday, how special!)

A view on our way home for Pretoria.

Tisetso had a great time at the Haven, again. He loves helping there and being with the kids. It gives him time to connect with his roots and with kids who were in a situation just like he was. When he was done hanging out there, we headed to the outlet mall so he could check out the Nike outlet. We stopped at a store called Makro for lunch and ate at Wimpy (a burger place). While sitting there, we noticed the Walmart logo in a few places. Brian did some digging and found that Walmart had bought a controlling share in Makro and a few other associated brands.

Tisetso and his fancy hot chocolate while out with Brian at a coffee shop.

After we had finished lunch, we were walking to the exit and I noticed a few simple long-sleeve shirts that I wanted to buy. We grabbed a roll of mints and some lozenges to complete our order. We got to the check out only to be told that you needed a Makro membership card (a la Sam’s Club) to shop. Oops! After handing over our big / not so big purchase, we left empty handed. The Nike store was a bust, too.

And the winner of Go Fish! is… Phindi!

Aslan greeted us at the entrance. Much more elaborate than the last time we went!

Tisetso and Zöe.

The next day, we got up bright and early to head to the Lion and Safari park. We had gone here before, but we figured it would still but a fun excursion for our family. It was a beautiful drive to the park and we loved seeing the countryside outside of Johannesburg. The safari ride was fun! We got to see a bunch of lions, some zebra (rhymes with “Deborah” here), giraffes, and sable antelopes—which we were told were a rare treat! One of the giraffes we saw was named Zöe and was hand-raised, so it often comes up to the safari trucks and says hi! (See above.)

Me and a giraffe (one of my favorite animals!)

Kids and a giraffe

After, we went to lunch at the restaurant on campus and were really disappointed. The food came out one person at a time, and about 40 minutes after we placed our order, the chef came out and told Brian and I that the chicken (what we had ordered) wasn’t cooked yet. We had to order something else. It was very frustrating, right until a giraffe just walked right on by. Way to redeem the whole thing, giraffe!

I pet a giraffe!

Tisetso pat a giraffe!

The Mall of Africa, the largest mall on the continent!

With the giraffe pet, we made our way to the Mall of Africa. Yes, another mall! We had to check it out because they were building it the last time we were here. It felt like the mall that’s closest to us (Sandton City), just moderately bigger and maybe a little nicer. Not worth another trip, to be sure. I was glad for all of the jobs it generates. That has to be a huge number!

Today was a pretty low-key day. We went and saw the new movie The Bad Guys. It was really fun and the animation was wall done. I enjoyed it and recommend the movie to anyone looking for a feel-good movie. Get this—we bought four tickets, four popcorns, four drinks, and three candies all for about $40! Major score on our part! The theater we were in was the ‘kids theater,’ complete with bean bag chairs (with cup holders) and a huge slide into a foam pit!

Us during load shedding when our power was out.

We’ve had a crazy few days, as I said, and then next few will be just as crazy. Tomorrow is Easter, Monday is Phindi’s 10th birthday, and Tuesday sees us flying to Cape Town and moving to a new flat for a month. Please keep us in your prayers. We have seen some evidences of the ‘honeymoon phase’ coming to an end, but then things snap back. We know it won’t last forever and that real work begins when we’re all open and ready. Pray when that time comes, we’re loving and ready to build lasting attachment bonds.

The kids next to a Mandela statue at Carnivore—an all-you-can-eat game meat restaurant.

The menu

A quick note: Carnivore was a delicious place filled with meats from all over South Africa! I’m adding the menu so you can see what sorts of things we tried. It’s a must for anyone who visits this area. We visited last time we came.

The Past Few Days

Bubble gum ice cream is very blue.

The three days after our court date have been fairly low-key. We have visited the mall a few times (of course), Brian has worked at a coffee shop, and we attended church.

Phindi behind eight stacked pizza boxes.

Tisetso was very interested in having some time at the Haven (where he grew up) playing and helping with the children, so we brought him there to do just that on Saturday morning. Brian, Phindi, and I went to a mall and let Phindi go clothes shopping. The plan was to go the the pizza restaurant and order pizzas (eight!) for all the kids for lunch, but we apparently found the ONE mall without a pizza place in all of South Africa. After driving around, we found a place and were able to order the pizzas. Success!

Phindi with her new iPad!

As an extra special bonus, one of the girls who lived at the Haven when Tisetso did—who has also since been adopted—was visiting the Haven at the same time! Tisetso and her were able to help out on the same day!

Today at church.

We got to go to a church today. Last week didn’t work out because the church we were planning on attending had signups and we were late to the game. We went to Pretoria for church and it was neat because the area the church was in was the same area our very first hotel was at when we came to South Africa in 2016.

Phindi holding my hand.

Phindi is doing really well transitioning to family life. Now, don’t get me wrong, we are definitely in the honeymoon stage of things. At some point, the balloon is going to pop and things are going to get real, but for now, she’s doing well. She hugs us and gives us high fives, has told us she loves us, and is all around a sweet, silly, joyful girl. We love her to bits!

Our over-the-counter medications get put in a hamster cage to bring to the till.

We continue to navigate cultural and language differences. While English is the main language, there are still different words for things. While at the pharmacy, we needed some decongestant, and had to get it from behind the counter (not uncommon), but they put it in a cage, which I had to take up front to purchase. How fun!

Technology twins!

When we’re home and the kids have screen time, it’s cute how they interact. Phindi is still getting used to her iPad and Tisetso has been helping her out. Also, Phindi loves the Frozen soundtrack and she loves singing loudly to it with headphones on. It’s both precious and hilarious.

Lego store visit cannot be complete without Lego taxis.

Brian commented that the licensing on this must have been expensive. Ha!

Grape chipmunk cheeks!

Introducing: Phindile (Phindi) Ann Malcolm

Our daughter, Phindi

We are so excited to introduce to everyone, Phindile Ann Malcolm, also known as Phindi (PIN-dee). She is shy, but don’t let that fool you! Once she opens up, this girl is silly and sweet and everything in between. She is so loved by us and has been loved and cared for by so many who knew her before us.

We work up early this morning and shared a ride with Mama Debbie, the woman who runs the care home Phindi is from, because the leader of a political party, Julius Malema, was going to be at the same court house as us today and they were expecting protests. We were driven there and encountered roads blocked and a 15 minute drive turned into a 30 minute drive. Then, our 9:00 am court date was delayed. At first it was only for a few minutes. Malema and his legal team even walked past us! Then we found out the magistrate’s (judge’s) brother had passed away moments before, which carried a lot of unknowns for our family—potentially even a hindering thing to our case. One hour led to two which led to three. Finally, after close to four hours of sitting and waiting, our magistrate was ready to see us.

We entered her office and she greeted us with a smile. Brian and I sat in front of her desk while Phindi and Mama Debbie sat behind us and Tisetso sat on a bench to our left with some government social workers. Our lawyer handed us papers from the right while the judge asked us if we had been compelled in any way to the adoption. We swore we had not been. Then we held Phindi’s hands as we swore that we entered into the adoption promising to give Phindi all she needed, which included to teach her right from wrong, to share her birth culture with her, and to love her unconditionally. We signed quickly on the dotted lines! When the magistrate began stamping each page and signing, I began tearing up. It was official. We were now her parents. Four years of stress and tears and paperwork had culminated in this moment in a magistrate’s office.

Protest

When we were done, we snapped a quick photo with the magistrate, then hustled out. We took a few more photos on the steps of the courthouse, but were quick with that as well. Many members of the political party of the leader being tried today were there and causing quite the ruckus. They were all dressed in red, so it was a sea of red over the parking lot. Mama Debbie led us around the protesters and through the parking lot and about a block away to wait for Uncle Joe (who works at the care home) to come and pick us up.

Brother and Sister watching Encanto together.

Our plan when we got back to the flat was to get a celebratory milkshake, but because it was pushing 2:00 pm, we decided on lunch and milkshakes. We headed to…the mall. You guessed it! Phindi wanted pizza and chips (fries). She was adamant about her fries being from McDonald’s, which surprised me. Tisetso got McDonald’s, while Brian, Phindi, and I got a pizza.

After lunch, we went to a little pop up where Tisetso got to paint a chocolate egg with edible paint and Phindi got to decorate a chocolate bar. It was fun seeing her say yes and no to certain things. She seems to be fairly decisive, which is unusual for kids who are not used to having as much say in daily life. When we had our fill of Easter activities, we amused Tisetso with an excursion into a shoe store (which resulted in no purchases). This kid is ridiculous about tennis shoes to a fault. It’s out of control.

Phindi loves imitating people and here she’s imitating her brother.

We then headed on the eternal quest to find a small clock for Tisetso’s room. We’ve walked all over this stinking mall looking for a clock and there was one in Woolworths the whole time! We should have checked there first. After a quick stop at Clicks for some hair conditioner spray and lotion, we headed home.

One of our first family photos!

I stepped into the driver’s seat this time. It was my first time driving this trip. I am happy to report two things:
1. We hit nothing / no one. 2. I only hit the windshield wiper once. (Remember it’s on the left side where the turning signal is usually at and the turning signal is on the right.) I made Brian nervous, but was not nervous myself, so I consider that a victory!

When we got home, we called our family to announce Phindi’s name. “Ann” is a family name - both grandmothers and both aunts share the name. We also learned that the woman who runs the care home shares this middle name as well! Phindi enjoyed meeting everyone, sharing her new name, and showing off her court dress.

After the calls, we got her into her jammies and she picked Trolls for the movie night. It was precious because she would sing along to some of the songs. My heart couldn’t handle the cuteness. When we went to put her bed, our water was out again (eye roll), so Brian pilfered some buckets of water from the pool downstairs so we could flush toilets and and we used our drinking water for brushing teeth. Thankfully we didn’t mix the two up! :)

Our Phindi girl

She and Tisetso are now asleep in their beds. I can’t believe this is our life now. Some day this will seem totally normal, but for now, this is special and new.

We've Gone to the Birds!

Our day started early here as we decided to head to Montecasino (an elaborate—bordering on ridiculous—entertainment resort complex) with our daughter. We had been to the bird park there twice on our last visit and it seemed a perfect day to go. Despite being in the mid-70s, we saw many people dressed in long sleeves and even heavy jackets! Sort of like when it hits 65° in southwest Florida.

Tisetso feeding the ducks.

Upon entering the park, we fed the ducks, which our son and daughter particularly liked. We walked all around in the sunshine and saw monkeys not longer than 1’, lemurs, birds from all around the world and snakes. Brian loved the snakes! Ha! (Where are their arms and legs?!)

Kookaburra landing on the trainer’s hat as planned.

We attended a bird demonstration in which a Kookaburra landed on an audience member’s head, unplanned (after landing on the hat of a trainer which was planned). That was exciting. I decided that the Kookaburra is probably the cutest bird ever and may be my new favorite bird. We watched a crow named “Russell Crow” pick up aluminum cans and put them in the recycling bin. Apparently he took to the trick quickly “because he likes shiny things.”

Peacock baby

After the show, we decided to get dessert first, before lunch. We each picked out a snack and ate next to the park by the flamingos. After the sugar was consumed, we played a little tag at the park. Well, I half-heartedly ran because I didn’t want to get overly sweaty. Call me mother of the year! Then we walked around the inside of the complex and found a place for lunch. It’s a huge place and has shops and restaurants. I wanted to eat at the place that puts your pasta in a round of cheese and then lets it melt the cheese, but NO! they didn’t have hot dogs for the kids. Kids ruin everything. I’m just kidding…only sort of. :)

During lunch, we began preparing our daughter that tomorrow she will begin sleeping at our flat after court. We are calling it “her sleep-over” and asked her what she wanted to do and she said watch a movie. We said you can’t have a movie without sweets and popcorn! We found a shop with just that and let her and Tisetso walk around and pick out their favorites and drinks.

When we returned to our daughter’s care home, they were having a party. It was a birthday party for one of the house mamas and a good-bye party for our daughter. At one point, the woman who runs the care home had the children say why they would miss her. Here are a few highlights from those given:

• They will miss her love and her kindness.

• They will miss her jokes and her silliness.

• They will miss that she draws, swims, and plays dolls with others.

• They will miss her because she is her best friend.

At this point, I was trying not to cry as 20 children told our daughter why they would miss her. After the party, we had a meeting with our lawyer and social worker from Cape Town who had flown in for court tomorrow. They came to our flat and we sat outside by the VERY green (closed for the season) pool. When we arrived at the flat, we found out that we had no running water, which was fun. Anyway, the meeting went well and we felt reassured and ready for court.

We took our daughter back to the care home for dinner and we felt a brevity in saying good-bye to her for the last time. We were excited that tomorrow we wouldn’t have to say good-bye anymore.

Fun signage.

Because we had no running water, we went to the mall to use the loo (fun word for bathroom), pick up some needed items, and get dinner. After dinner, we headed back to the flat in the dark, something we do try to avoid. Thankfully we didn’t run into any issues and came back to running water. Yay!

I have been trying to get a picture of this sign for days! What does it even mean?!

If you think about it, please pray for us tomorrow. We will be in court at 9:00 am, which is 2:00 am Central Daylight Time. Apparently there may be a protest about a political leader who attacked a police officer at a funeral at this court building. It won’t make things easier, that’s for sure. Either way, we just pray that the adoption is finalized and everything is clear for the lawyer and magistrate (judge). Thank you for walking with us on this journey. We can’t wait to introduce you to our daughter!

Tic-Tac-Toe and Hugs All Around

Breakfast, Tea, & Coffee at Manaka Coffee

This morning started early as we wanted to get to Manaka Coffee to try it out before going to meet up with our daughter. It was a great coffee shop with a lovely tea selection. (Ha!) Brian also had coffee. We had a great breakfast of flap jacks, eggs Benedict, and steel-cut oats. After a few “friendly waves” (what we call it when Brian accidentally hits the windshield wipers instead of the turn signal—which is on the opposite side of the steering wheel), we made it to the care home.

Our first stop of the day was to the flat to show our daughter her dress for adooption finalization at court (which is happening Thursday morning for all of you who like to pray for us). We showed it to her and she loved it. She said she felt like a princess. I’ve had that dress since we were matched with her—over two years ago!

After she approved the dress, we needed shoes, so we headed to Woolworths. I let her pick out shoes and she picked out tennis shoes. I suggested we get those and pick out some dress shoes for court. Then I took her over to the girls clothes and let her walk around and pick out anything that she liked. She picked out a pink sweatpants and zipper sweatshirt combo because pink is her favorite color. She seemed overwhelmed, so I suggested a few more things that she approved.

We then met Tisetso and Brian at a place for lunch. It’s the same restaurant where we had our sixth anniversary dinner back in 2016! It was delicious and our daughter was able to get her favorite meal—macaroni and cheese. Tisetso showed off his new purchase: a pair of low-top dark green tennis shoes, which he is adding to his “collection”. While we waited for our lunch, I taught our daughter how to play tic-tac-toe. It was so much fun playing with her and seeing her confidence rise with each game. She even beat me fairly a couple of times! Once we had finished lunch, we picked out cake for one of the house mamas whose birthday is tomorrow. We hope she likes rainbow velvet (our daughter’s choice).

The garden where our daughter has undoubtedly spent many hours.

We headed to our daughter’s previous care home facility in the organization (she had just been moved to a new home six weeks ago). Today was hard, as it was a lot of good-byes to house mamas and many of the friends and peers that she loves. One of the teachers at the preschool started to tear up and said, “We are so happy, but it’s so hard.” There were a few moments like that, but most everyone said good-bye with joy for our daughter and were happy to meet us.

After we had said many good-byes, our daughter indicated she was ready to return to her (current) home. When we got there, we assembled the older kids and introduced them to three American candies—Dots, Pez, and Pop Rocks. The kids all agreed the grape Pez tasted like medicine and they all loved (and were sufficiently weirded out by) the Pop Rocks. After the sugar had been consumed, we headed upstairs to play some games and decorate some cards for the house mama’s birthday tomorrow. The girls especially loved the idea of having cards to give to her. We then said good-bye to our daughter for the night and promised to be back the next morning.

CARB CITY!

We had to head back to the mall for some supplies and additional groceries. We made a mistake and went to the grocery store hungry. We ended up coming home with a lot of carbs (insert eye roll here for knowing better). We left the carbs at home and went to The Codfather across the street for dinner. Tisetso still would not try a Cape gooseberry. Maybe next time.

One huge thing we all received today was a hug from our daughter / sister. When we went to say good-bye, we offered to give her a high five (a common thing we offer to kids in case they are uncomfortable with physical affection), and she said no, then hugged us all in turn. It was really beautiful and unexpected. We hope and pray for more victories and milestones like that in the coming days as we show up and do what we promised to do.

Krispy Kreme and some snails...YUM!

A really neat typographical use of the South African flag (“Y”) and colorway

Today started off with Tisetso and I turning up our noses to plain yogurt at a restaurant. We are so used to flavored yogurt that it was startling to taste plain anything. Brian isn’t overly fond of yogurt in any form. After an amended breakfast, we headed to go see our daughter for the day.

Seeing as it was the second rainy day in a row, which apparently is unheard of, the woman who runs the organization suggested we take our daughter and a friend to the mall for the day and catch a movie. This was a surprise to us as we had planned to spend most of the day with her at the home and then take her on a small outing in the afternoon. Everyone belted in, we backed our little Quest Love out and headed for Sandton City (the nicest mall you ever did see).

Once at the mall, we headed to the cinema to see what and when movies were playing. Unfortunately for us, the girls wanted to see Encanto, which stated at 1:15, and it was 9:30. If you know Brian or I, you know that staying at the mall for that long is not a dream come true. So, we made other plans. We headed to the food court and got some Krispy Kreme donuts (the girls’ choice), a Cinnabon cinnamon roll, more coffee for Brian, and sodas. After sugar was consumed, our daughter’s friend pulled me aside and asked if she could get our daughter something to remember her and the other girls by. I was so touched that our daughter is so loved by these girls and will be so missed.

We went to the toy store next and the friend and I went on a secret mission. Brian, Tisetso, and our daughter walked around while the friend and I tried to sneakily purchase a baby doll and some accessories. I think we were successful. We had the doll double-bagged before our daughter could see what was up. Bag in hand, we went to Click’s (like Walgreens) and the girls got to pick out two snacks each.

After that we headed back to our flat. We showed our daughter around and her room when she would be staying with us, which hopefully will be in just a few short days! Tour over, we busted out the snacks and put Encanto on the TV. It’s such a good movie and we had a good time watching it. When we were done, we went BACK TO THE MALL (ugh) for lunch because everything is in the mall.

Snail #1

When we were done with lunch and everyone was sufficiently re-sugared up from milkshakes and bottomless lemonades, we headed back to the home. We played games and introduced a new game called Tenzi to the girls (we started by usiung only five dice, while the game calls for ten). They seemed to love it and enjoyed playing with us. We played a few more games and gave our daughter a couple of American candies to try. Then the girls wanted to head outside with all of the other kids. Brian and I went outside with them and were inundated with children!

We were immediately separated and were asked a million questions. “Are you married?” (Yes. Who do you think to?) “Why do your hands look like this?” (They’re dry. Thanks, kid. Ha!) “Are you ****’s mom?” (Yes! I am!) “Is **** your mom?” (Now how would that work?!) “Are you Father Christmas?” (That one, thankfully, was directed at Brian.) “Have you ever been to the North Pole?” (No, that sounds too cold for me.) “Let me touch your beard!” (Also directed at Brian.) “Let me touch your beard!” (I don’t have a beard!) You get the picture. It was pretty funny and overwhelming. During this interrogation, we were directed to the garden snails that live in the palm fronds. At one point, they grabbed three and had a race. It was pretty fun.

Snail #2

After saying goodbye to our daughter for the night, we headed home. I took a nap as it’s emotionally and mentally draining for me to be “on” all day. At this point in the process, when you’re looking to build connections wherever you can, you are on. One beautiful moment of today was when our daughter grabbed my hand and held on. She started out by holding my arm then slid her hand down to my wrist. I held my hand out and she took it. It was such a small, but huge thing. She is getting more comfortable with us little by little. We are so, so thankful for every victory and look forward to the next one.

Meeting our Daughter and Sister

Her hands drawing a picture for us. 💗

Today was the day. We met our daughter and Tisetso met his sister. It was a lot less fanfare than when we met Tisetso, which was okay by us. We pulled up to the house and there she was—standing at the door waiting for us. It was a bit rainy so we ran inside and she had her brightest, shyest smile on. We got high fives as a greeting and then we were off getting the tour with her as our tour guide.

One of her friends drew us a family portrait (L–R: Heidi, Brian, Tisetso, and our daughter)

We got to spend almost the whole day with her and her friends. The morning was spent coloring and using stickers to make lovely pictures. One of the girls even drew our family (see above). It was fun as we spent the time asking random questions such as favorite color, food, snack, subject, etc. It gave our shy daughter a chance to speak without having to be at the center of attention, which would have possibly made her uncomfortable. At one point, she put a sticker of a present on her paper and when I asked what was inside, she said, “Clothes and a dollie.” My heart melted.

After drawing and lunch, we headed upstairs for the TV room / lounge area. The girls all wanted to watch The Adventures of Shark Boy and Lava Girl which was a real…treat… It was rough. Brian and I were left to sit on bean bag chairs and the movie was so bad. (How bad was it?) I contemplated taking a nap, but worried I’d snore and alert all the girls to the fact I wasn’t paying attention. I also stayed off my phone as much as possible. It was difficult.

After 93 long minutes, the movie ended, and so did my trial. (Ha!) We headed back downstairs to begin the most difficult game of memory match of my life. The game was based off of a show called Sparkle & Shine, I think, and all of the characters look the same except for different hair colors. But sometimes the same hair color girl would have a slight variation of pose. To add to the fun, the lines of the game kept getting mixed up into a big random pile, so I couldn’t ever remember where something was. To top it all off, we were playing with a bunch of cheaters—our daughter included! When the game had taken too long for their liking, the girls flipped all of the cards over and began a free-for-all to get matches. It was hilarious!

We ended the day by watching an episode of Teen Titans Go! during which, our daughter came out of her shell and started really showing herself to be a funny and silly kid who loves her friends. When we said goodbye, we promised to come back tomorrow and she said that would be alright. Success!

Headed back to the flat after a long but fantastic day

We’re now home and processing our day. It was so different from our first day with Tisetso, and yet similar in many ways. You’re strangers who are also family. You’re expected to hit it off and be great right away. Thankfully, we were able to make good connections with her today. Tomorrow will be different as all her friends go back to school (they’ve been on a week-long autumn break here), so we will have her to ourselves. We are excited and nervous to see how it will go.

Please continue to pray that new and lasting bonds would form between her and us. We love her so much and want her to love us just as much, but know these things take time. We are excited to see what tomorrow brings.

Tomorrow changes everything. Again.

Our home for the next three months.

We cannot believe that our lives will forever be changed tomorrow at 11:00 am (4:00 am CST). It’s the night before we meet our daughter. We are excited, nervous, scared, happy, pretty much everything under the sun.

Everything changes tomorrow and yet today was a relatively normal day, as far as spending time in Johannesburg / Centurion, South Africa is concerned. We got to meet up with Tisetso’s Grade R (Kindergarten) teacher, Emmylou (“Teacher Emmy”). She had a profound impact on Tisetso’s life in the short time that she was a part of it. She believed in his ability to push beyond goals that others said he would never achieve. We are forever thankful for her.

Getting to meet her, her husband, and daughter was such a treat! They met us at Bosvelder—a seemingly traditional Afrikaners lodge-style restaurant that they suggested, and It was amazing! Her husband ordered six starters (appetizers) for us and we tried new things and they were all so tasty. It was hard to pick my favorite, but I’d have to say it was tripe & totters, a seasoned stew with mashed potatoes on the side. Brian liked the tripe & totters and the lamb’s tail best. For dessert, Brian and I split peppermint crisp tart and malva pudding with custard. Needless to say, four hours later, we walked away full and were thankful for this time with these two friends from afar.

So here we sit, Tisetso in bed, getting ready to end the day ourselves. We have a bag packed by the door with stickers, paper, markers, and other fun activities to play with our children (!!). Just like Tisetso got Roy the Lion, our daughter is getting a special stuffie. “Shelly the Turtle” has made the voyage across the ocean with us and will be introduced to her new best friend tomorrow.

Please be in prayer for us. We are so excited, and hope she is too, but know there have to be a lot of nerves on both sides. We want tomorrow to go well for us, Tisetso, and our daughter.

Here we go!

Another day, another pothole

View of Sandton in the distance and Johannesburg even further in the distance

Today was a long, emotional day. We woke up early and hit the road, headed to Centurion to visit the Haven, where Tisetso lived before we met him. For the sake of his privacy and it being his story to share, we won’t include much, but there were a couple things that we would love to share.

THE famous tuck shop

For many years, we’ve heard about this tuck shop and how Tisetso would be allowed to go buy sweets (according to the aunties this happened every Friday). We were finally able to come to the shop and, with the help of one of the aunties, bought thirty candy bars for the kids currently living there. Tisetso delivered these to the kids and was very popular with everyone (as if he wasn’t already).

Our Kindergarten graduate!

Another bonus for today was that we got more photos and documents and art from Tisetso’s younger years. It was such a sweet blessing to see his little hand and foot prints and compare them to how big they are today. He has certainly grown! We loved getting to hear stories from the aunties who cared for him and seeing him remember so many new things he had forgotten.

There were probably 50 taxis all lined up along the side of this road.

Driving around provided much to enjoy. We had a couple of interactions with our favorite taxis (see this post for more information from our last trip). We also encountered a military base that we had to drive through that made Brian and I both very nervous, both for ourselves and our car, ‘QuestLove.’ One speed bump was so high that we briefly bottomed out. Not fun!

Huh? ⬅️ ➡️ ⬆️

We encountered many signs that made near to no sense to us. These intersection signs always leave us scratching our heads.

Advertise here

There are a TON of advertisements as you drive along the road, but what’s interesting is how people advertise. Many people use these trailers, so you see random trailers on the side of the road.

KFC

In true Tisetso fashion, he wanted KFC for lunch. I noticed they had a hand washing station in the dining area, which I thought was pretty brilliant. Where else do you get your hands so messy as fried chicken? (Ok, I know ribs are up there, but work with me.) I also love the Colonel Sanders tie on the mirror. Presh.

After lunch and a coffee trip, we headed back to the flat to pick up and get ready to meet with the woman who runs the care home our daughter lives in. We were so thankful to meet with her today as she provided such wonderful insight and shared stories about our daughter. She loves crafts and is caring to others, cannot wait to see the ocean, and loves the color pink. 💗

We cannot begin to express how wonderful it was to meet with this woman who has spent such time loving her as she has done. Now we wait for Sunday!

Brian, his dinner, and my arm (Photo cred: Tisetso)

After our meeting, we walked across the street to a restaurant called The Codfather. It was delicious. I got Cape kingklip (a fish local to the Western Cape area), Tisetso got “sticky bbq pork ribs” (big surprise there), and Brian got the paella for two (and brought one serving home).

Cape Gooseberry

Tisetso also got a fruit salad, which was beautiful! In it were these little yellow berries. I was the brave one that tried them first. They tasted like a mix between a somewhat sour berry and had the aftertaste of a tomato. It wasn’t my cup of tea, but Brian tried one as well. We asked our server what they were and she asked the chef. She came back with the answer—gooseberries! I did a little googling and found out that, more specifically, they are Cape gooseberries. Fun!

We are now back safely and wondering (again) when we can go to bed. Brian and Tisetso didn’t sleep well again last night. Hopefully they will sleep just as well as I’ve slept the past two nights.

We're here and tired, but oh so excited!

A beautiful sunset over Johannesburg

We made it! Our luggage made it! Two very important details to our travels. We departed Chicago around 4:00 in the afternoon, flew to Newark, NJ, then on to to Johannesburg, and arrived around 6:00 p.m. local time (which is about 11:00 a.m. the following day departure time). We actually made it through passport control, customs, and baggage claim quite quickly. It was kind of neat reminiscing of the last time we got off of an international flight in Johannesburg and going through customs, waiting to meet Tisetso. It was much cooler and less busy inside than last time — I remember that much! I was thankful for that. It was also helpful that we had traveled to Turkey recently (for me, at least). Being in another country wasn’t as much a shock to the system because we had done this four months ago.

My guys and our luggage (not pictured: my backpack)

Tisetso eating dinner, drinking creme soda, and MANY eyes watching…

After collecting our luggage (five suitcases, two rolling carry-ons, and three backpacks (and a partridge in a pear tree), we hopped into a van that took us to our guest house. It was beautiful! We checked in, dropped off our bags and then snuck in some dinner. Tisetso got to have a green creme soda for the first time in six years. It briefly elicited a smile from our teenager!

The guest house where we spent our first night.

After spending a great night of sleep—well, I slept like a rock because I can’t sleep on planes (Tisetso and Brian were up for a couple of hours)—we had a great breakfast at the guest house. Tisetso piled up his plate with pancakes and bacon. The syrup was so thick, you almost had to apply it with your fork. You certainly couldn’t run your pancakes through it without the pancakes shredding. It was delicious. Tisetso also loved the orange juice, which is surprising because he doesn’t like it in the States. Here, it definitely has more of a pineapple flavor.

With breakfast done, we hopped back in the transport van and headed back to the airport to pick up our car rental. We got to chat with a lovely older couple from the UK (he was from Ireland and she was from Scotland, so he said they compromised and lived in England). At the airport, we got coffee for Brian and picked up the car—hindered by a soft-spoken trainee behind a mask and plexi shield. Once we got through the registration process, we managed to find our car after a few wrong turns (see again: trainee).

After a prayer and our Apple maps turned on, we ventured out of the parking spot. With Brian and I at the helm, we made a good team. I announced any speed signs I saw or anything Brian didn’t see (“DEBRIS IN THE ROAD! DEBRIS IN THE ROAD!”). We made it back to the guest house and parked in front of our room. Thus began the great packing puzzle of 2022, as it shall be known from here on out. We had to fit all of our luggage into a Toyota Quest (a little smaller than the size of a Corolla). Brian, being a pack master, got it all to fit. Barely. It was a great feat. All children will tell of this tale.

This was right before all the packing was done. Also, the car’s name is now Quest Love.

With us checked out, we headed to our apartment we had rented for two weeks. Along the way, we encountered potholes about a third of a meter deep (hello metric system), four-way stops with one ‘removed’ stop sign (of course the one facing us), and almost hitting a delivery motorbike. We will call that a victory. After some confusion of where we should check in, we managed to find our flat (apartment). Walking up, I tripped on one of the steps. At first, I thought it was just me. After walking back down to help Brian park (the spots are super narrow and there’s no backup camera), I tripped on the same step on the way back up! After taking a closer look, it came to my attention that the steps are not all the same height!! How fun.

We live by the fancy mall, Sandton City.

We took a minute to make a grocery, list then hit the mall for lunch and supplies. At the mall, we made a huge circle before finding the food court. We went to a place called Steers and got a macon burger (Tisetso) and lemon-herb chicken (Brian and I). Eating done, we hit up an electronic store for some device charging adapters with the South African plugs on them. We then went to Woolworths (essentially a Nordstrom attached to a Trader Joe’s). We got socks, cologne for Brian and Tisetso, and groceries. It’s always fun to see what other countries carry in their grocery stores. After hitting up Click’s (like Walgreens), we headed back to the flat.

We are now back and enjoying the evening. We are watching Matilda and vegging out on our phones and waiting until it’s an appropriate time to go to sleep…which is 7:00 pm, right?

A blurry photo of Brian’s airplane pillow contraption.

At this point in the post, Brian is probably hoping I am sleepy enough that I forgot about his special airplane pillow, which I promised I would 100% make fun of him for. It was ridiculous looking and made me laugh out loud on the plane. Apparently it worked though. Well done for him. He got sleep and I did not.

Thank you to everyone who prayed for us and wished us well on this first leg of the journey. We are so excited to meet our girl on Sunday!

This is not a drill!!

When we were in Cape Town in 2016. Look how tiny Tisetso is! Be still my heart.

After four and a half long years, we are finally writing to say that we have a court date!

On April 7, 2022, our family will grow by one and we are so excited, thrilled, and elated. We cannot believe that after waiting so long, our time has finally come.

This time around is going to look different in a several ways, but here are three:

1. We will meet with our daughter only four days before the court date. When we met Tisetso, we had two weeks before the court date, so things are a little more sped up this time around.

2. We will also be spending three months in South Africa compared to the six weeks last time.

3. We will be in South Africa during the autumn and winter months compared to the summer we experienced last time.

We have begun to finalize lists and boxes are pouring in from Amazon with things for our daughter and for travel. We are putting her room together (Harry Potter themed, of course!). We are shifting things around to make room in our home for another person!

We are so thankful that throughout our time of waiting the Lord upheld us. I (Heidi) had a particularly hard day while we were waiting and found this verse to be so encouraging:

He is not afraid of bad news;
his heart is firm,
trusting the LORD.
Psalm 112:7

I knew that no matter what news we heard (or didn’t hear), it would not shake the foundations of God’s hold on my heart or of His creation. My heart was firm because I was trusting the Lord.

We are also thankful for each of you. We’ve had so many friends and family members praying for us and encouraging us these past years as we walked this much longer than expected path. We know life is meant to be lived in community and we are so thankful for ours.

Links for All of the Days We Were in South Africa

If for some crazy reason you find yourself wanting to read all of the days in order (bless you), here are all of the days, linked up for your convenience. Thanks for reading our story!

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Day 1: Pretoria

Day 2: Pretoria

Day 3: Pretoria

Day 4: Pretoria

Day 5: Pretoria

Day 6: Pretoria

Day 7: Pretoria

Day 8: Pretoria

Day 9: Centurion

Day 10: Centurion

Day 11: Centurion

Day 12: Centurion

Day 13: Centurion

Day 14: Centurion

Day 15: Centurion

Day 16: Centurion and Atteridgeville

Day 17: Centurion

Day 18: Centurion and Strand

Day 19: Strand

Day 20: Strand

Day 21: Strand

Day 22: Strand and Cape Town

Day 23: Strand and Simon's Town

Day 24: Strand

Day 25: Strand

Day 26: Strand

Day 27: Strand

Day 28: Strand and Cape Town

Day 29: Strand and Khayelitsha

Day 30: Strand

Day 31: Strand and Cape Town

Day 32: Strand and Cape Town

Day 33: Strand and Cape Town

Day 34: Strand and Simon's Town

Day 35: Strand and Cape Town

Day 36: Strand and Cape Town

Day 37: Strand

Day 38: Strand and Khayelitsha

Day 39: Strand and Stellenbosch

Day 40: Strand, Cape Town, and Somerset West

Day 41: Strand, Cape Town, Johannesburg, and Sandton

Day 42: Sandton

Day 43: Sandton, Pretoria, and Centurion

Day 44: Sandton

Day 45: Sandton

Day 46: Sandton

Day 47: Sandton and Johannesburg

Day 48: Sandton, Pretoria, and Johannesburg

Day 49: London, Chicago, and Home

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You can find a summary of our Time in South Africa here, and a post about our pre-South Africa adventure in London here.

Summary of Our Time in South Africa

It was the biggest, most impactful trip I've ever taken in my life. I have been collecting random thoughts, observations, and photos from our time in South Africa, some while we were there and others after we got home. Some are meaningful and some are superficial.

I loved the road signs in South Africa.

Speed cameras were everywhere! Note: It's not 120 mph, but kph. Sadly.

Drivers were more considerate in South Africa than America. The drivers are less selfish and more willing to drive with kindness. On the highway, if you're not going the speed limit, you would drive in the left lane (slow lane). Merging on the highway was not an issue because people would let someone in without anger, unlike what you find here.

More in Gauteng than Cape Town, we found Bidvest was EVERYWHERE! They did car rentals, banking, staffing, apparently baking (see photo), and even toilet paper supplies. Brian and I decided if Bidvest ever went under, the whole country would stop working properly.

Malls are on every corner! For every mall that closes its doors here in America, one is reborn in South Africa. They are huge, confusing, and packed with people. In fact, the Mall of Africa (a mall we drove by on numerous occasions while there) recently opened.

These sounded so gross, I almost lost it.

I died laughing in the check out line when I saw this. I showed Brian and he suggested throwing it in the pool. From that point on, I was tearing up from trying not to laugh out loud in the line. If you're wondering, I bought it and it was tasty.

Shoes aren't as big of a necessity in South Africa. In America, we have signs warding off people without shoes from shopping in stores. In South Africa, it's not uncommon to see people without shoes (mostly children).

I really liked the license plates. I only got photos of these two, but there were many kinds.

Driving on the left takes about three weeks to get used to. Even then, you’ll still have terrifying moments when you think you’re about to die in a fiery car crash.

I was trying to take a photo of this terrifying road sign, but also managed to capture a speeding taxi in our rearview mirror.

Taxis (12-passenger vans) are devil machines that do not adhere to the laws. They’re so pervasive that not even police mess with them. I decided that if we lived in South Africa, I would purchase one of those vehicles so I wouldn’t have to follow the rules of the road.

Almost every house has a gate around it with either an electric fence (pictured) or barbed wire. Security is definitely an issue for home owners.

There are people everywhere. Living in America, where you can look out your front window and not see anyone walk by for a good bit, is so contrary to South Africa. People are walking everywhere, even on the side of the highway.

Diet Coke (the best beverage on the face of the planet) is called Coke Light, in case you're wondering. It was hard to remember at first, then hard to switch back when we came home.

Common things to see in homes are the electric meter (you pay in advance for electricity and purchase more at local stores) and water heater information. Water heaters are typically on the roof to utilize the sun's helpful rays.

Sizing of food was a bit different (smaller) in South Africa. The tic tac box on the left is from America and the one on the right is from South Africa. 

ATMs are everywhere! There were whole sections of every mall with walls and walls of ATMs. We used mostly cash while we were there, but it seemed to be a common thing for many of the people, too. 

There were way too many people in this truck. Eek!

I definitely take the internet here for granted. It took so long to upload photos and, at times, was impossible. I missed listening to music because I hadn’t thought ahead and downloaded some before traveling. Most of the time you have to purchase internet as you go, which got to be a little frustrating. I spent two months of my life without Netflix and survived. Barely. I should get a badge of bravery or something.

It was clear, through our conversations with South Africans and through observation, that there aren’t enough jobs for people in the country. It was heartbreaking to see mothers, with their children strapped on their backs, begging for money and food on street corners each day. It is something we are not faced with seeing every day. In South Africa, it is part of life.

People would be walking these huge carts on the side of the road/highway. It broke my heart because I am guessing with the amount of work put into filling and transporting the carts, it wasn't a lot of payback.

South Africa is such a huge country! We stayed in two provinces while we were there. Even within the two provinces, it was clear that there were many cultures (some of which were combinations of others) and languages represented in the country. 

A walkway bridge made out of scaffolding. Eeek!!!

It is such a beautiful and interesting place to visit. I would highly recommend adding it to your lists of countries to visit! We loved our time there experiencing the culture and scenery. There is truly no place on earth like South Africa. We are thankful for the time we spent there as it was an amazing time, where our only job was to be a family. Because of the experiences we had and friendships we made, we feel like a little piece of our heart was left there.

If I had to sum up our trip, here’s how it would go:

8 weeks,
8 hotels/apartments,
6 cities,
6 flights,
6 suitcases,
5 cars,
3 traffic stops,
2 stamps in our passports,
all to meet 1 amazing son…
…and we’d do it again in a heartbeat for him!