A Hummingbird and a Call (One Year Later)

One year ago today, I was sitting in our backyard holding a hummingbird that had flown into our window. I was simultaneously hoping it would stay forever and be my animal friend and hoping it would fly away. I was hoping it would stay for obvious reasons. Hello! Who wouldn't love an adorable bird who drinks sugar water being your friend?! At the same time, I was hoping it would get better enough to fly away. I had an important call I was waiting for and really wanted to give all of my attention to this call.

Our social worker had emailed us the day before (Thursday) asking if she could call as she had a file of a child she wanted us to consider. I was hopeful, but cautious in my hope. After about 20 minutes of holding this fragile bird and feeding it, it flew off. As I was standing up, my phone rang.

She said he was a six year old boy. She said she thought he would be perfect for us.

I knew. I knew he was our son. 

I called Brian to tell him the two simple things we had—his age and gender. Then I went on a walk. I've had strong feelings before, but this was intense. My husband and my family can testify that strong feelings are sometimes the only way I feel things, but this was different. It was confidence and hope and tentative love. All for a six year old boy on the other side of the world. I prayed that God would help me discern my feelings.

We prayed together over the weekend and called Monday morning asking for the file. What followed was 43 days of waiting to see his face. Those 43 days were painful. They were heartbreaking. I didn't know what my son looked like, but I knew he was the child we had been waiting for.

Oh, how much can change in one year! Now we're in a new season of life, filled with fighting for attachment, building love, and growing in trust. One year can hold so much. This past year has seen our family of two turn into a family of three. 

I am thankful God brought Tisetso into our family. Adoption isn't rainbows and unicorns, so when you have sweet moments (like this anniversary), you hold on tight. I am excited and hopeful for what the next year will hold.

Mandela

I remember where I was when I heard the news exactly one year ago. I was taking a break from crazy cleaning our house when I turned on my phone and opened the CNN app. Above all of the other news stories, there was the headline: Nelson Mandela had passed away. 

We had known for quite some time that we were planning on adopting from South Africa. We had started research into the history and culture. The history in the past 50 years culminated around one man, Nelson Mandela. 

When I sat down to think about the ramifications his death would have on a country we had grown to love, I was struck with the thought that our children, unless they were babies, could possibly remember this day in great detail. Those caring for them could be in mourning. The orphanage could take on an atmosphere of loss. 

We all have moments we remember very clearly. My grandparents remember where they were when they heard Kennedy was shot. I remember with great detail where I was when I heard about the Twin Towers falling (third period German class). I wonder if our kids will remember where they were when they heard the news about Mandela.

I am thankful that God put such a man in South Africa at the right time. Oppression had gone unchecked for far too long. So many people were able to rally around Mandela who spent 27 years of his life in prison. When he was released, he was an integral part in overthrowing the apartheid. He was a man who loved his countrymen and fought for their freedom and liberties. Lord willing, the influence he had on the country he loved will continue on and bless many generations to come.

The beginning of something great

Five years ago today, God answered years of prayer and I didn't even know it. Five years ago, my life changed in a way I couldn't anticipate. Five years ago I met Brian for the first time. I know it's silly, but I always wanted to remember the first time I met my spouse. I remember the exact moment like it was yesterday. 

The picture above is the campus lawn (known as the J-bowl) at my college. I spent hours walking around this lawn praying. I would pray about my life and being single, which, for your information, is very difficult at Bible school. Yesterday, while Brian was in Louisville for a conference, he sent me this picture. I was overwhelmed at the grace of God. Brian was walking the path I wore out while praying for him. I just didn't know it was him at the time. God is so good!

Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen. (Eph. 3: 20-21, ESV)