African Safari

This weekend was a whirlwind trip up to Rochester, MN to visit my side of the family. My paternal grandmother (Grandma Cookie) just moved into assisted living and her home (which she had lived in for 60+ years) had been sold. I've spent many good times in that home and I really wanted to see it one last time before it was handed over to the buyer. The home needs a lot of work, so it is going to be flipped and will never look the same. 

Grandma Cookie's kitchen wall - it has looked this way as long as I can remember.

Living in a home for that long and never throwing anything away makes for a busy weekend. There was a garage sale and the home was quickly being cleared out to make way for the new owners. One great find - BAGS of beanie babies. While many people were giving their beanies away, throwing them away, or selling them, my grandma saved them all. So when my uncle asked me if I wanted any, I jumped at the chance. We now have a full African safari of animals.

We grabbed any animals that are found in Africa, or more specifically in South Africa. When we were picking out animals, Brian grabbed the mongoose, of which we weren't sure there were any in South Africa, because he hates snakes. I just looked and there is a mongoose native specifically in South Africa. (Brian will be happy to hear there are creatures eating the numerous [venemous] snakes that live in South Africa.) I'm excited for our kids to play with this set. I'm already thinking through other things that could make the safari more fun, but I think we're off to a good start.

Saying Good-bye

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Brian and I spent the weekend in Athens, IL (outside of Springfield). Brian's grandma, Grandma Peg, passed away last week and we were there for the visitation and funeral.

Grandma Peg was a great lady. She loved the Lord and loved her family. She was generous with her time, involved in every sort of activity one could imagine, and she was a champ at knitting. The first time I was to meet her, Brian told me she wasn't your typical grandma and that if I was sarcastic (my favorite kind of humor), she would dish it right back. Having only known her for five years, I grew to love and appreciate her.

With the flood of visitors and stories, I was reminded of how Peg and Kennedy (her late husband) were instrumental in starting a foreign exchange student program in the area. They both loved meeting people from different countries and cultures, always welcoming them into their home. I think that is why, when so many other people from that generation would not appreciate adoption, she was excited when Ginger and Chance adopted, and then when we told her we were also adopting.

This weekend was hard for so many reasons. Saying good-bye is never easy. But I am thankful that the gifts she imparted to her children and their children will continue - love for God and family, love for other cultures, and stressing the importance of generosity and service. Our kids may never meet Grandma Peg, but they will know of her in the values she passed on to our family.

Bon Voyage, Dossier!

On Monday, we received an email from our adoption agency that we had done two things incorrectly on our dossier. I was really frustrated, but thankfully did not feel depressed or overwhelmed. I felt determined. Tuesday night we got the items notarized and, on Wednesday, I found myself on a train headed to Chicago. I was downtown for almost two hours, running from the apostille office to FedEx to overnight the paperwork. Thankfully, the predicted downpour and lightning held off.

Yesterday we got this from our agency:

Naturally, we needed to celebrate, so I went by Dairy Queen before community group and bought a YAYYYYYY!! cake. As I was walking back to my car holding the cake, I realized every color from the South African flag was represented. Pretty great!

The Dairy Queen cake decorator really phoned it in on the icing application. Thankfully, it didn't affect the taste of the cake!

All of this to say - our dossier is shipping off to South Africa today! Please pray it would arrive safely and be viewed favorably by those who review it. We are so thankful to have gotten through this difficult phase of our adoption journey and praise God for His strength made known in our weakness.

Doxology!

Guess what we finished last night and mailed today?! That's right! OUR DOSSIER!

We made our list and checked it twice. Like Santa. (Documents blurred out for legal reasons.)

Then I weighed the blasted thing out of curiosity.

And it was shipped off today! YAYYYYYYY!!! 

How to pray going forward:

• Pray the dossier arrives quickly (we are shipping it overnight) and safely. First stop is Grand Rapids, MI (Bethany's headquarters), then off to South Africa.
• Pray for a quick turn around for these documents in South Africa. Once our documents are received and approved, our adoption could happen as quickly or as slowly as possible (hopefully not too slowly...). We are praying for a shorter timeline, as you may imagine.

So close...

Documents: Notarized!

We are really close to finishing our dossier. In a moment of genius, I had us scheduled to head to the bank to get 10 documents notarized on Friday evening, right after everyone and their mother gets off work. Going off a tip from another couple who just finished their dossier, I brought doubles of everything. We ended up needing four of them! Our notary was very interested our adoption and telling us how she hadn't gotten a raise this year. Both of these interests resulted in three mistakes. Despite the notary's best effort, we were victorious!

Saturday morning found me wearing out the carpet between my computer and our printer/scanner. We have to have four copies of our dossier, along with the original, so lots of copies were made! On Saturday night, after enjoying a Billy Corgan concert at Ravinia, we headed back to our hotel and assembled the four copies and put the original documents in order. Once that was done, we breathed a huge sigh of relief! We are getting close to being done!

27 documents here, adding a few more after this weekend!

USCIS Approval

Yesterday we went to the annual Bethany picnic. While we were there, we mentioned to our social worker that we were still waiting on our visa approval (USCIS approval). She thought this strange and told us to call because it should have been taking this long. When we got home from the picnic, guess what was waiting in the mail for us?!

So now that we're not waiting on our approval letter, it's all on us to get the dossier done. I liked it better when it was the government's fault we weren't done with our dossier! There's just one more big thing we need to do before our dossier is finished (photos of our house, family, life, etc.). Once everything is done we will take all of our documents to Chicago and get them apostilled (verification that the notary who signed the documents is legit). 

How to pray for us:

• Pray for the quick resolution of a mistake I found yesterday in our paperwork. (I'm really kicking myself for this one...). 

• Pray that the Lord would hasten the review of our dossier when it gets to South Africa.

• Pray for our kid(s) and that they would be safe, healthy, and loved by those around them.

World Quilt

When we met with our social worker for our final home study interview, she warned of the time that lay ahead that would just be waiting. As our dossier paperwork is coming to an end, the waiting is drawing closer and closer. I've never done well with just waiting, so she suggested having a project to do to keep me busy during this season. 

I really wanted to make a quilt that was modern and something we would have for years to come. After scouring Pinterest for a couple of hours, I found a pixelated world map quilt I wanted to make. I contacted the designer and asked to purchase the pattern. Unfortunately, she does not sell the pattern. So I began scouring again. I found nothing I liked. Thankfully, a wonderful woman at our church, who has agreed to teach me how to quilt, found a great pattern. I liked it a lot because it is easily personalized. (I'll be adding photos of my progress as I go along.)

Today I am starting my first quilt. I am excited to have something tangible to do during this season of waiting. I am excited that when this season is done, I will have something to wrap my kids in and keep them warm. I am excited to pray for them and for us as I work on this quilt, for when God knits our family together through adoption. Can you tell I'm excited?

A Light at the End of the Tunnel

I don't know if you've ever driven through a long tunnel, but I remember as a kid always feeling a little uneasy. It was typically as we were driving through a mountain that we encountered these tunnels. I would imagine the entire mountain caving in on us as we were driving through its belly. From the moment we entered the tunnel to the moment we left, I slackened my seatbelt so I could lean towards the middle of the car to have a clear view of what was ahead. The uneasiness would always lighten when I saw the pinhole of light coming from the end of the tunnel. That's how I feel now.

I've been walking through a bit of darkness and a little bit of feeling hopeless amidst the sea of paperwork that needs to be done. One of my (MANY) failings is that I don't finish a lot of things I start, and I was very fearful I wouldn't have the drive to finish all of this paperwork. But God being so gracious has helped me to press on. He gave me hope it could be done when I struggled to believe and a husband who encouraged me to press on.

No--the dossier is not done, but after being in the dark for some weeks, I see a light at the end of the tunnel. My soul feels lighter knowing this hurdle is almost done. In a small way, I have begun to cherish this season of our adoption because I know what comes next—waiting. 

A Dossier Update

I keep thinking I'm going to do better at updating this blog, but then there's nothing to write. I don't want to bore you with the mundane, but that's where we find ourselves most often. We've been plugging away at our dossier paperwork. I had hoped to get everything done by the end of July, but that's just one more thing I can chalk up being out of my control.

Tomorrow afternoon we are going in to do fingerprinting for our visa request for our child(ren). I am hoping we will get a competent government employee who is able to get everything right the first time. It might be too much to ask!

Other than that, Brian has been busy with work, I've been busy with paperwork, I need to clean my desk and I'm losing the battle to weeds in my yard. I honestly cannot believe that it is almost August! Where does time go?? Ok...rambling aside, I appreciate all of you asking how the adoption process is going and look forward to having a better report once our dossier is getting close to being done.

And so it begins...

Last week we printed up the South Africa dossier packet. It was overwhelming, frustrating, and defeating, all in one stroke. There is just so much to do! We are praying we can get all of it done by the time we receive our visa and international adoption approval from the US government (estimated 4-6 weeks from now). 

The dossier is a huge collection of documents, letters, and photographs that we will send to the South African government in hopes of receiving approval to adopt from their great country. This is the final HUGE round of paperwork. There will be more, but this is the biggest one we will do.  

While we've been busy collecting paperwork for our adoption, Brian's sister, brother-in-law, and their children are in Eastern Europe picking up their third son. In fact, right now, they are picking E (name and photos are withheld until he is legally theirs) from the orphanage! Even though there is still a bit of a process to go, E will never step foot into an orphanage again! I would highly recommend checking out Ginger's blog. She has a gift for writing and their adventures are worth reading. We are beyond excited to welcome E to the family!

Thank you for your continued prayers for us during this long process. We cannot express how much they mean to us. This has been a tiring and hard time for us. We look forward to the day we get to meet our little one(s) and share in that joy with all of you!

Home Study Reviewed

We got an email from our social worker yesterday saying that the government of Illinois has reviewed our home study. We have to take a quick online course on hair and skin care for our sweet African(s). I am excited to go through the course as it was something I was planning on doing anyway. No time like the present! Once we've finished that, we will be approved!!

This is huge! Illinois has been taking anywhere from 2-4 weeks to review applications. Ours took a little under a week! Praise God! I am praying that once our application is sent to the national level, it goes as quickly. It is typically estimated between 8-12 weeks. Thank you for your prayers. God is moving this timeline along, working to bring our little one(s) home.

Two Weeks (and some change...)

I have to be honest — when our home study was written and sent to us, I thought it would be just a day of sending our revisions to the agency. Boy, was I wrong. Our lives, for the past two weeks (maybe a little more), have been filled with reading and re-reading our home study. It even got so far as to the Bethany global office last week. At that point, I thought surely that was the end. I even went to The Cheesecake Factory and bought celebratory cheesecake slices for us. Once again—I was wrong.

After two full weeks of back and forth emails with our social worker, we've finally signed the finalized copy! It has gone back to the global office for approval. Once we've got that, it's on to the state of Illinois. Hopefully they will approve our application to adopt. Once we get their approval, we have to send it on to the national level and get approval. 

Prayer Requests

• Please pray the home study would be read quickly in all three offices it is headed to over the next few months (global office, Illinois, national). 
• Pray for Brian and I as we were given a referral last week (a child's file). After prayer and consideration, we felt the child's needs were more than we could handle. Please pray as this is an insanely hard process. Saying 'no' to a child breaks our hearts, but we trust the Lord that this brings us one step closer to our child(ren). 

God is not worried about my kids.

Last week Brian and I attended CAFO 2014. I'll write more about our experience later, but I wanted to write about one of the most impactful things I took home from the whole conference. We were sitting in a session called "Attachment: Parenting with Your Brain in Mind" and Dr. Curt Thompson was delving into the science of how our brains work and how the brain, when faced with trauma, is changed.

It was when he was hashing out what a difficult task it is to change a trauma affected brain that he paused and said,

"God is not worried about your kids. He is working."

In that moment, it was as if the Lord were speaking to me, reminding me He is not like me. He does not worry about whether or not my children have food and clothing. He does not worry that there will be difficulties ahead in raising children with a painful past. He doesn't worry because He is working on their behalf right now. He has been working on their behalf for some time, working into our hearts a desire to adopt. Unbeknownst to them right now, their lives are about to change. God is working — through us. 

I've mentioned it before, but I'll say it again — this process has forced me to trust the Lord as I've never had to do before. This was one more step in my sanctifying journey of learning to trust a great God who works on behalf of the fatherless. 

A father to the fatherless and a judge for the widows, is God in His holy habitation. God makes a home for the lonely... (Ps. 68: 5-6, NASB)

Need a laugh?

Having only been in the adoption process for five months, I've already been asked some of these questions. This video is hilarious and surprisingly informative. Enjoy.

The beginning of something great

Five years ago today, God answered years of prayer and I didn't even know it. Five years ago, my life changed in a way I couldn't anticipate. Five years ago I met Brian for the first time. I know it's silly, but I always wanted to remember the first time I met my spouse. I remember the exact moment like it was yesterday. 

The picture above is the campus lawn (known as the J-bowl) at my college. I spent hours walking around this lawn praying. I would pray about my life and being single, which, for your information, is very difficult at Bible school. Yesterday, while Brian was in Louisville for a conference, he sent me this picture. I was overwhelmed at the grace of God. Brian was walking the path I wore out while praying for him. I just didn't know it was him at the time. God is so good!

Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen. (Eph. 3: 20-21, ESV)

Hague Seminars

As we continue waiting, we've been assigned homework—finish our training seminars. Last Friday, with all eleven hours mapped out on our calendar, we began. We were very optimistic as we started the videos. I must admit that, after eight hours, Brian and I are feeling emotionally exhausted. 

These videos are designed to give worst case scenario after worst case scenario. This is, in part, so we can think through what we would do if we were faced with these situations. After being immersed by these overwhelming facts hour after hour, we are tapped out. Last night, after the worst seminar yet, Brian and I could do nothing after we finished. We both were mentally done with the day. We crawled into bed, prayed that God would help us recover, and went to sleep.

We are realizing that adoption is, in many ways, much like pregnancy—you never know what you're going to get (thank you, Forrest Gump's momma). There is a huge element of the unknown. Is our child predisposed to a mental health condition? Does our child have a disease that is completely preventable, but was left untreated? We will love the children God brings to us, no matter the circumstances. We are definitely praying we can skip the case of head lice, thank you very much!

Prayer Requests

• Please pray we would finish the seminars quickly and that we would continue to trust the Lord for the care of our children.
• Please pray with us that God would keep our children safe and well cared for as they wait for us.

Final Home Study Interview

Today was our final home study interview. I must say, having a social worker come over to inspect your house gives you great incentive to clean like you have never cleaned before. We're talking all of the rooms have been dusted, vacuumed, closets organized, everything put away where it belongs (not hidden or piled somewhere else), and windows washed. And all at once (these things have never lined up so perfectly)! Phew!

Good news and disappointing news came out of the visit. The good news is that we are once again working with the international adoption coordinator (she was in Africa for the other home study interviews we had). We get along with her really well and are looking forward to a long relationship with her through Bethany. Part of the visit was to work through a timeline so Brian and I could have a very general and very loose set of expectations for how long this process will take. This is where the bad news comes in. We were told we could expect it to be another 18-24 months before we bring our kid(s) home. 

I have to be really honest and tell you—this was a big blow. I anticipated it to be a while, but not up to two years from this point. Today has been a mixed bag for me. I see how God is giving us time to take care of some things that would be difficult with kids in the mix, but it is still hard to look at this path knowing it just doubled in length. 

I would just ask that you be praying with us as we discern what we are to do with this extra time we have been given. We are also still praying that paperwork and court dates would go quickly and smoothly, but with that timeline in mind, it will help soften the blow if that doesn't happen. Who knows? We may even hop on a plane to South Africa and experience the culture firsthand before we make the trek back to pick up our child(ren). We will just have to wait and see.

Learning to Trust the Lord

Our home study visit (the last one) got postponed a week. Our social worker's son has the stomach flu. While this is a perfectly reasonable reason, it really frustrated me. I wasn't frustrated with our social worker or her son, but after thinking through it, I was frustrated because I was not in control. We have been planning on this visit for six weeks. I had been cleaning our house furiously all day long. It was a rough combo.

As someone who is prideful, I think I know the best plan for my life. I want to know what is coming up next, when, and what to anticipate. This adoption process has made me face my sinfulness over and over again. Never before has the theme "Trust the Lord" become so prevalent in my life. Never before has that mantra pushed me far beyond my borders of comfort. It is often a war zone in my mind when I start worrying about the things I cannot control.

"How long is this process going to take?! Probably forever..." Trust the Lord.

"Are we going to adopt one or two? What are their stories?" Trust the Lord.

"Where are my kids right now? Are they being cared for and loved? Do they have enough to eat?" Trust the Lord.

"What is life going to be like when they come home? I've never been a mom and now I'm jumping in and mothering kids who have had difficult lives. Am I going to be any good?" Trust the Lord.

I'm sure we all can relate to this, even if you are not adopting. What is it in your life that you hold close to your chest? What is it that you say you trust the Lord about, but when He tries to change anything, you are faced with the reality that you want your own way? It is hard giving things completely to the Lord, but when I finally do, it is something I never regret.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. Proverbs 3:5 (ESV)

Prayer Requests

• We were given a list of things to do between now and next week's visit. Pray we will complete everything as quickly as possible. 
• Pray that, through this process, we would learn to trust the Lord and not lean on our own understanding.

A Prayer Answered

I am so excited right now. God has answered a prayer I have been praying since June 10th of last year. I have a new job! I will be working at McDonald's Corporate with my friend, Alison, from church. I am so excited about this new opportunity. It will get to learn new things and utilize skills I have been cultivating for a while. Along with that, I will be able to keep working at OfficeMax.

The Lord really does know what we need, when we need it. This weather was starting to get to me, along with having nothing to do for the adoption and only working six hours a week. I am so thankful for this answered prayer. It has helped revive my soul to continued trust in the Lord.

The Seasons of Adoption

For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:
a time to be born, and a time to die;
a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;
a time to kill, and a time to heal;
a time to break down, and a time to build up;
a time to weep, and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
a time to seek, and a time to lose;
a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
a time to tear, and a time to sew;
a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
a time to love, and a time to hate;
a time for war, and a time for peace.
-Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 (ESV)

This has been a passage I continually go back to since I was working at a summer camp in college. It is so reassuring that the Lord has ordained each season He brings into our lives. This season of waiting can feel frustrating at times, especially because there is nothing to do right now. I feel better when I am doing things, like filling out paperwork or the interviews we've finished. The times in-between are difficult, when I don't feel I am actively working to move this adoption forward. 

I've learned through our adoption process so far and through the completed adoptions of several of my friends and family, that there are adoption process seasons, much like the outline given in Ecclesiastes. They go a little like this:

There is a time to fill out paperwork, and a time to put your pens down and rest;
a time to answer many questions about your life in interviews, and a time to sit in (sometimes sweet) silence;
a time to collect legal documents, and a time to gather clothes and toys for your child;
a time with many updates for your family and friends, and a time with no further news;
a time to pray for the child you don't know, and a time to decorate a room for the little one whose face you saw in a photograph;
a time to read adoption books, and a time to finally put your knowledge into practice;
a time when your family consists of two, and a time when your family grows by
one or more;
a time to travel, and a time to settle down;
a time of cocooning with your new family, and a time to introduce the one(s) so many have prayed for.

All of these seasons (and many more) are a part of what we are going through and of what we will experience. The Lord has ordained each and every season of our lives, the good and the difficult. I am thankful that in each one, He walks beside us, giving the strength and wisdom for each step.